Make new friends but keep the old.
An elementary school friend said something to me about a year ago that still has such an effect on me to this day. She said when we are young, and make friends we just have to like one another regardless of what we have in common. So why do we make friends differently as adults? Are we all that different from who we were in the past? I don’t think so, but different life experiences bring us around different people.
I can say throughout all walks of life I have made friends. My original college years, the years I spent working in fashion, my yogie peeps, and my current second round of college days now bring my life all different types of people. I have made friends, lost friends, and kept friends through all these years, and changes.
No matter how much I have changed I still feel much more connected to the friends I met in grade school. It is such a weird feeling, and hard to describe, but as I get older I find I long for the friends I had in my youth to be closer to me now. Since some of them are in my life that’s easy, and I have been spending more time with them. I also realize that I have been bumping into these friends a lot more often than normal lately.
Today I was in Gelson’s getting groceries for the week and I ran into one of my old best friends from girl scouts. I was so happy to see her, and I believe it was mutual. As we were talking about random things from the past I felt so comfortable and happy. This same effect happens when I am around anyone from those years.
Last week I also met a few old friends for dinner, and I was so happy during dinner, and that feeling held throughout the next days. These friends know me in a way all of my new friends don’t. They know my quirky behavior, personality, and understand my strong opinions without any judgment. I don’t have to walk on egg shells around them like I do with some of my newer friends. I don’t have to bite my tong, because they know I mean well. It is amazing I still have these relationships, and I am grateful I do.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Really unrealistic…
Really unrealistic…
I am committed to my education at this point, and I spend hours studying, reviewing, and doing school work. My reward is the high GPA I have in received for my work. Now that I have retaken half of my college requirements I have been asking myself the same question many undergrads asks, “What Next?” Should I get a Masters degree, PH.D, or just skip it and get a job? I have placed myself in a position where I have the grades to have choices to further my education, so I am going to get my Masters for sure, but I am on the fence about committing time to acquire a Ph.D.
All of these options are a very real consideration for a student like me.
There are other students who have higher GPA’s and better pedigree, but I know I am realistic about the possibility of being able to get into a graduate program. There is a very strong possibility I will be accepted to a handful of well respected colleges. I have worked hard for the opportunity to be ready for this, and now I am. However, I was rather shocked to actually talk to some other students who are clueless about the options they have going forward. I went to speak to one of my professors this week about my options, and to ask about different programs that were available to help get me into a more competitive program.
I went to talk to my professor during his office hours, so two other people were with me. We were going over grade requirements, research ideas, tests that we needed to take, and deadlines to achieve all this before applying to a grad school. The other two students also needed the same info, but I was under the impression they had better grades than what they admitted to. In class the teacher stated the requirements needed, and again repeated these requirements in office hours, and these two students just don’t have the grades to even be considered for a graduate program in psychology.
One student has a GPA lower than a 2.5, and the other student is having problems passing his classes. Some classes he has taken but not passed he is repeating currently. The student with a 2.5 also refuses to look for programs out of state, but even more specific she wants to stay in Southern California. The one who keeps failing his classes is looking into many different programs that he is not capable of being admitted to. I have no idea why either of them are looking into graduate school. The minimum requirements are gpa’s of 3.5 and higher, and extremely high scores on the GRE.
My GPA is a 3.5 and I know there are programs that will reject me for my GPA for sure. I am realistic about where I will be able to apply, and where I have better odds of getting in. If the two students apply to any of the schools I am applying to I easily blow them out of the water. Maybe they should apply to where I am applying to it increases my odds of getting into a better program.
I am committed to my education at this point, and I spend hours studying, reviewing, and doing school work. My reward is the high GPA I have in received for my work. Now that I have retaken half of my college requirements I have been asking myself the same question many undergrads asks, “What Next?” Should I get a Masters degree, PH.D, or just skip it and get a job? I have placed myself in a position where I have the grades to have choices to further my education, so I am going to get my Masters for sure, but I am on the fence about committing time to acquire a Ph.D.
All of these options are a very real consideration for a student like me.
There are other students who have higher GPA’s and better pedigree, but I know I am realistic about the possibility of being able to get into a graduate program. There is a very strong possibility I will be accepted to a handful of well respected colleges. I have worked hard for the opportunity to be ready for this, and now I am. However, I was rather shocked to actually talk to some other students who are clueless about the options they have going forward. I went to speak to one of my professors this week about my options, and to ask about different programs that were available to help get me into a more competitive program.
I went to talk to my professor during his office hours, so two other people were with me. We were going over grade requirements, research ideas, tests that we needed to take, and deadlines to achieve all this before applying to a grad school. The other two students also needed the same info, but I was under the impression they had better grades than what they admitted to. In class the teacher stated the requirements needed, and again repeated these requirements in office hours, and these two students just don’t have the grades to even be considered for a graduate program in psychology.
One student has a GPA lower than a 2.5, and the other student is having problems passing his classes. Some classes he has taken but not passed he is repeating currently. The student with a 2.5 also refuses to look for programs out of state, but even more specific she wants to stay in Southern California. The one who keeps failing his classes is looking into many different programs that he is not capable of being admitted to. I have no idea why either of them are looking into graduate school. The minimum requirements are gpa’s of 3.5 and higher, and extremely high scores on the GRE.
My GPA is a 3.5 and I know there are programs that will reject me for my GPA for sure. I am realistic about where I will be able to apply, and where I have better odds of getting in. If the two students apply to any of the schools I am applying to I easily blow them out of the water. Maybe they should apply to where I am applying to it increases my odds of getting into a better program.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Man with a gun
Man with a gun…
Not the best subject for an email, but everyone at the college I attend was sent that email last Tuesday. At 10:30 am I was in the library doing my lab assignment for my stats class, and all of a sudden the fire alarm went off. Since it was a week where every class had a test I actually assumed a student had lost his cool, and pulled the alarm. All of a sudden on the loud speaker system everyone was asked to exit the library.
As I exited I realized people were not being evacuated from campus, and there were no fire engines I did think it was odd. However, I had another lecture to go to, so I went to class. Towards the end of class students were getting up and leaving the room, and there was a lot of chatter towards the back of the lecture hall. Our professor asked what all the chatter was about, and a student informed everyone that she just received an email form the college. The email stated there was a man with the gun on campus, and there would be more police coming to the campus.
The email also stated if anyone including students, faculty or staff wanted to leave the campus they were allowed, but to please let a supervisor know. Many students left the classroom, but about 50 of us stayed to finish the lecture. I am not sure what was more concerning the man with the gun, or the students being on their smart phones and checking email while we were in class. Either way at the time I was not concerned about my safety in the class room, but outside was a different story.
I left the campus as a phone call was made to my cell phone. It was the university again with an emergency phone call giving more warnings about the man on campus, and information about the evacuated library. To say that the call was unnerving was an understatement. I did think the email was fine, but the call was a bit weird.
The remainder of the day the campus called and emailed many updates about the situation to all students, and staff. I think I was sent six emails, and received five calls. One of the emails even included a picture of the suspect. It turned out that he may have hid in the library with a gun. The next day rumors were swirling around the campus.
One student told me that the suspect was a schizophrenic, and he had no gun, but another report was that he did. All in all I never saw this person, and I never saw his gun. He was captured the day of the voluntary evacuation, so all was back to normal the next day. I guess since the question mark incident at UCLA campus police just don’t mess around with any threat on campus.
Not the best subject for an email, but everyone at the college I attend was sent that email last Tuesday. At 10:30 am I was in the library doing my lab assignment for my stats class, and all of a sudden the fire alarm went off. Since it was a week where every class had a test I actually assumed a student had lost his cool, and pulled the alarm. All of a sudden on the loud speaker system everyone was asked to exit the library.
As I exited I realized people were not being evacuated from campus, and there were no fire engines I did think it was odd. However, I had another lecture to go to, so I went to class. Towards the end of class students were getting up and leaving the room, and there was a lot of chatter towards the back of the lecture hall. Our professor asked what all the chatter was about, and a student informed everyone that she just received an email form the college. The email stated there was a man with the gun on campus, and there would be more police coming to the campus.
The email also stated if anyone including students, faculty or staff wanted to leave the campus they were allowed, but to please let a supervisor know. Many students left the classroom, but about 50 of us stayed to finish the lecture. I am not sure what was more concerning the man with the gun, or the students being on their smart phones and checking email while we were in class. Either way at the time I was not concerned about my safety in the class room, but outside was a different story.
I left the campus as a phone call was made to my cell phone. It was the university again with an emergency phone call giving more warnings about the man on campus, and information about the evacuated library. To say that the call was unnerving was an understatement. I did think the email was fine, but the call was a bit weird.
The remainder of the day the campus called and emailed many updates about the situation to all students, and staff. I think I was sent six emails, and received five calls. One of the emails even included a picture of the suspect. It turned out that he may have hid in the library with a gun. The next day rumors were swirling around the campus.
One student told me that the suspect was a schizophrenic, and he had no gun, but another report was that he did. All in all I never saw this person, and I never saw his gun. He was captured the day of the voluntary evacuation, so all was back to normal the next day. I guess since the question mark incident at UCLA campus police just don’t mess around with any threat on campus.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Yeah, about last Tuesday.
Yeah, about last Tuesday.
If my mom was wondering why she was crossed off my Chanukah list this year she should read this blog. I consider last Tuesday a comedy of errors in so many ways. It started with a manicure, a time frame, and ended with a burger. The last sentence may sound weird, but I assure you by the time you are done reading this it blog entry it will make a lot of sense. I talked my mom into getting cal gel manicures with me at Marie Nails. I love the place, and they do an amazing job on my nail art.
I am a little obsessed with art on my nails these days, and thought since my mom got basic gels we should just go at the same time to get manicures. Little did I know that I was creating a monster when I talked her into getting butterflies on her thumbs last month. This month I told her to pick from a nail design magazine, and boy did she pick a good design. However, designs are hand painted and they take some time to do. I told her I booked her for a gel pedicure, and a four design gel manicure. She ended up picking a ten design manicure. This was a problem, but the ladies at Marie’s really wanted to accommodate her request, because I have been going there for two years.
So they did accommodate her, but at my expense. The designated time for her manicure was an hour and a half, and it should have been enough time, but with the intricate designs she picked it took two hours and fifteen minutes. The girl that did her nails was booked to do my pedicure, and I had to give up my pedicure. Unfortunately my mom was completely clueless that she caused such a problem. Or was she? On a normal day I would have just waited for my pedicure, but that day I needed to meet someone in Santa Monica at 5pm.
Since my mom ran over her allotted time not only did I miss my pedicure, but we ended up being an hour late to meet my friend in Santa Monica. I was so annoyed at her, and the whole way to Santa Monica she kept laughing nervously. She knew it was more funny than tragic, and it all really did not matter, but I kept telling her that her nails were grounded for not respecting other people’s time, and punishing her nails was the topic of the drive. To cover my ass for next time I booked her extra time at Marie’s Nails to avoid this situation from ever happening again. To this day her nails and I aren’t friends right now. Once we got to Santa Monica I ran out of the car, and into Starbucks to meet with my friend.
My friend and I talked for an hour, and I thought it was only going to be twenty minutes, so my time frame was totally messed up, and by the time we left we were ridiculously hungry. My mom and I made a game day decision to stop at the habit for burgers on the way home. I was still talking smack on the way home about her nails, and we were laughing about the whole thing. We got to the habit, and I ordered my burger without mayo, but with Thousand Island dressing. They gave us our order and told us my hamburger was marked with an x on the packaging.
After we got our food we hoped back in the car, and raced home to eat. I walked into the bathroom to wash my hands while my mother separated our food onto plates. My mom was so hungry she had already begun to eat, and was half way through her burger. I sat down and I started to eat, but noticed I had mayo on my burger. I said out loud something like I guess putting Thousand Island dressing on my burger was too hard for them to remember. I looked over at my mom when I said this and she turned bright red. All of a sudden I realize my mom was eating my burger. To recap she made me late, took up the time for my pedicure, and ate my burger. No gift for her!
If my mom was wondering why she was crossed off my Chanukah list this year she should read this blog. I consider last Tuesday a comedy of errors in so many ways. It started with a manicure, a time frame, and ended with a burger. The last sentence may sound weird, but I assure you by the time you are done reading this it blog entry it will make a lot of sense. I talked my mom into getting cal gel manicures with me at Marie Nails. I love the place, and they do an amazing job on my nail art.
I am a little obsessed with art on my nails these days, and thought since my mom got basic gels we should just go at the same time to get manicures. Little did I know that I was creating a monster when I talked her into getting butterflies on her thumbs last month. This month I told her to pick from a nail design magazine, and boy did she pick a good design. However, designs are hand painted and they take some time to do. I told her I booked her for a gel pedicure, and a four design gel manicure. She ended up picking a ten design manicure. This was a problem, but the ladies at Marie’s really wanted to accommodate her request, because I have been going there for two years.
So they did accommodate her, but at my expense. The designated time for her manicure was an hour and a half, and it should have been enough time, but with the intricate designs she picked it took two hours and fifteen minutes. The girl that did her nails was booked to do my pedicure, and I had to give up my pedicure. Unfortunately my mom was completely clueless that she caused such a problem. Or was she? On a normal day I would have just waited for my pedicure, but that day I needed to meet someone in Santa Monica at 5pm.
Since my mom ran over her allotted time not only did I miss my pedicure, but we ended up being an hour late to meet my friend in Santa Monica. I was so annoyed at her, and the whole way to Santa Monica she kept laughing nervously. She knew it was more funny than tragic, and it all really did not matter, but I kept telling her that her nails were grounded for not respecting other people’s time, and punishing her nails was the topic of the drive. To cover my ass for next time I booked her extra time at Marie’s Nails to avoid this situation from ever happening again. To this day her nails and I aren’t friends right now. Once we got to Santa Monica I ran out of the car, and into Starbucks to meet with my friend.
My friend and I talked for an hour, and I thought it was only going to be twenty minutes, so my time frame was totally messed up, and by the time we left we were ridiculously hungry. My mom and I made a game day decision to stop at the habit for burgers on the way home. I was still talking smack on the way home about her nails, and we were laughing about the whole thing. We got to the habit, and I ordered my burger without mayo, but with Thousand Island dressing. They gave us our order and told us my hamburger was marked with an x on the packaging.
After we got our food we hoped back in the car, and raced home to eat. I walked into the bathroom to wash my hands while my mother separated our food onto plates. My mom was so hungry she had already begun to eat, and was half way through her burger. I sat down and I started to eat, but noticed I had mayo on my burger. I said out loud something like I guess putting Thousand Island dressing on my burger was too hard for them to remember. I looked over at my mom when I said this and she turned bright red. All of a sudden I realize my mom was eating my burger. To recap she made me late, took up the time for my pedicure, and ate my burger. No gift for her!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Claustrophobic much?
School has begun with a rush of energy and a lot of mishaps. To start I have a new email that I did not even know I had. The school set it up for me, and it also set up my Moodle account. Moodle is an on line class room where teachers post lecture notes, essays, grades, assignments etc. I think you get the general idea. The Moodle and new Gmail account were not set up by me, but the school automatically set it up. I believe this was done to make my life easier.
This set up only complicated things in the bubble of Staci that I currently live in. Over a week ago all my professors sent me an email that included the syllabus, their email, assignments due, and reading for the first week of class. I did not get any of this information until the first day of school. To say I was frustrated was an understatement. Discombobulated is how I would describe my mind state during this first three days of class. Most of the information I was given just aggravated me, and confused me further.
Monday after school I ran home to try to access this email account I had. However, I did not set up this email, and did not even know my log in name or password. I searched my CSUN home page for any information on how to get onto my email. Finally after 30 minutes I found my log in, but still did not know my pass word. There was also no clear explanation of how to get my password. Finally after an hour I called the IT line at CSUN.
It turned out I needed to log out of the schools portal to gain access to my new Gmail account. The person I was speaking to told me my password was the same as my log in for the school, and same applied for model. I asked how I was supposed to know that. He told me I was sent that information in an email. Guess what He was right, but I only found out he was correct after I logged onto my new email account that I did not sign up for.
The log in instruction was the first email that was sent to an account I did not know I had, and that I had no access to. Awesome! Then I realized I was a week behind in my reading, but I got all caught up by Wednesday. So not that all that was out of the way I could hunker down and start to study. I have, but the classroom situation is also a little out of hand. In every class I am attending there are a minimum of 60 people, and a maximum of 120.
Every class that I am enrolled is at capacity, but the first week a lot of students try to add classes. Over 50 people in each class have been trying to crash the course. In a lecture hall that can only accommodate 120 people there are over 200 people crammed into the room trying to add the course. I wish I could say I am used to it, but every semester it makes me so uncomfortable.
I am a small girl, and I am not even 5 feet tall. When everyone towers over you, and you are jammed into a class room that has standing room only, and there is a person against every wall it is hard not to feel overwhelmed. There is a sea of people crowding around me, and it makes it hard for me to breath. The first week I always sit next to the door, so I can flee if I really need to. By the end of the school day I am so exhausted from the fear of being trampled by a mob of taller than me people.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Summer is almost over.
Summer is almost over.
This is my last official weekend of summer break, and I am looking forward to every second of these last few days. Tomorrow and Sunday I am doing promotion for Operation Shanti, and I cannot wait for Sunday. Tomorrow I have to drop things off in Santa Monica and Venice, and then I go to a yoga class at 3:30. After the class I am planning on stuffing my face with Mexican food while watching some cheesy movie of my choice. Sunday I have to get up early for Garth’s class at Lululemon Santa Monica.
At 9:30 Garth will be teaching a free class at Lululemon, and I will be taking full advantage of his class. After the class in Santa Monica I head over to Brentwood to promote the event at a different location. It will be my first time promoting the event in that area, so I hope it is a lot of fun. Every area of the city attracts different types of people, so I am wondering what the people will be like in Brentwood. It should be mellow and fun. My goal is to sign up 10 people on Sunday.
Sunday is a really packed day, I am even attending another two classes on Sunday. I will see how I feel, but I think it will make me feel better than I have been feeling the past few days. I also spent time with my grandmother last week, and it is really hard to be with her sometimes. My grandmother was a mover and a shaker. Her life consisted of raising children, baking, traveling around the world, opera, and charity work. She lived her life, and why wouldn’t she? It sounds like a dream come true, and I believe it was.
My grandmother had a massive stroke and can no longer walk, stand, or do anything with her left side. The last few weeks the reality of her new life has set in, and she cannot get past it. In the middle of conversations she starts to weep, and reminisces about what she used to be able to do. She realizes she will never travel again, go to the opera, or walk to the bathroom. Every day her sadness becomes more and more crippling for her. All she really wants to do is sleep half the day away, and I don’t even blame her.
I don’t think watching yourself deteriorate is all that fun. I can only imagine the physical pain she is in. I can tell you when my time comes I want to go quickly. I don’t want to decline slowly. I would rather just pass in my sleep, or randomly drop dead all of a sudden. I can tell you without a doubt I know that to be true! Sometimes I try to imagine how I would feel if I could not walk, and it terrifies me. My favorite thing in life is my health. I love traveling, yoga, hiking, doing charity work. In a nut shell I just am so grateful I can physically do any of the things I am doing. If I could no longer be active I might feel exactly like her.
This is my last official weekend of summer break, and I am looking forward to every second of these last few days. Tomorrow and Sunday I am doing promotion for Operation Shanti, and I cannot wait for Sunday. Tomorrow I have to drop things off in Santa Monica and Venice, and then I go to a yoga class at 3:30. After the class I am planning on stuffing my face with Mexican food while watching some cheesy movie of my choice. Sunday I have to get up early for Garth’s class at Lululemon Santa Monica.
At 9:30 Garth will be teaching a free class at Lululemon, and I will be taking full advantage of his class. After the class in Santa Monica I head over to Brentwood to promote the event at a different location. It will be my first time promoting the event in that area, so I hope it is a lot of fun. Every area of the city attracts different types of people, so I am wondering what the people will be like in Brentwood. It should be mellow and fun. My goal is to sign up 10 people on Sunday.
Sunday is a really packed day, I am even attending another two classes on Sunday. I will see how I feel, but I think it will make me feel better than I have been feeling the past few days. I also spent time with my grandmother last week, and it is really hard to be with her sometimes. My grandmother was a mover and a shaker. Her life consisted of raising children, baking, traveling around the world, opera, and charity work. She lived her life, and why wouldn’t she? It sounds like a dream come true, and I believe it was.
My grandmother had a massive stroke and can no longer walk, stand, or do anything with her left side. The last few weeks the reality of her new life has set in, and she cannot get past it. In the middle of conversations she starts to weep, and reminisces about what she used to be able to do. She realizes she will never travel again, go to the opera, or walk to the bathroom. Every day her sadness becomes more and more crippling for her. All she really wants to do is sleep half the day away, and I don’t even blame her.
I don’t think watching yourself deteriorate is all that fun. I can only imagine the physical pain she is in. I can tell you when my time comes I want to go quickly. I don’t want to decline slowly. I would rather just pass in my sleep, or randomly drop dead all of a sudden. I can tell you without a doubt I know that to be true! Sometimes I try to imagine how I would feel if I could not walk, and it terrifies me. My favorite thing in life is my health. I love traveling, yoga, hiking, doing charity work. In a nut shell I just am so grateful I can physically do any of the things I am doing. If I could no longer be active I might feel exactly like her.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
This is a gym not a club....
You don’t need a full face of make up on just to go to the gym.
I am not mocking any trendy, expensive, posh gyms. I have spent many years being a member of these establishments for many reasons. Most of the reasons have to do with the top of the line equipment, showers, steam rooms, and classes they offer. Really nice gyms offer great instructors, because they can afford to pay them. That is why I was a member of Equinox for as long as I was. I only canceled my membership, because I only did yoga there, and once school starts next week I will not be able to attend the classes I liked to take.
Since I quit, and joined Yoga works I have been back to Equinox as a guest. Today I was a guest, and the gym was nice and clean. I love going back there to take a class and see the people I know. However, there is a bit of ego involved when you belong to a posh gym. It’s like a status symbol that you can afford to belong to a place like that, and I fully felt that way when I was a member, but I don’t feel any less awesome because I now belong to yoga works.
Maybe it is because I am down to earth, and only really care about my yoga practice, but today I noticed something about the gym I never noticed before. A really large portion of the women in the gym today were all wearing a lot of make-up. Not like they put a little on in the morning and came to exercise in the afternoon, but as if they got all made up to go out for a night on the town, but by mistake went to the gym. I know some people view the gym as a place to meet someone, but looking like a high priced call girl is not going to attract a mate unless you are a call girl then no problem.
I have made friends at the gym, because many people talk to me, but I never met someone who asked me out on a date. I also never put on make-up before I took a class in the exercise room. I am way too lazy to have to shower and then reapply my make-up. I would assume the women are trying to make themselves more attractive, but I just think they look weird, out of place, and desperate.
I would place the emphasis on the out of place. A little make-up is fine if you want to even out your skin tone. I am a woman, and I do understand the way it feels to look good, but there is difference. Night time make up if for the night time not the gym.
I am not mocking any trendy, expensive, posh gyms. I have spent many years being a member of these establishments for many reasons. Most of the reasons have to do with the top of the line equipment, showers, steam rooms, and classes they offer. Really nice gyms offer great instructors, because they can afford to pay them. That is why I was a member of Equinox for as long as I was. I only canceled my membership, because I only did yoga there, and once school starts next week I will not be able to attend the classes I liked to take.
Since I quit, and joined Yoga works I have been back to Equinox as a guest. Today I was a guest, and the gym was nice and clean. I love going back there to take a class and see the people I know. However, there is a bit of ego involved when you belong to a posh gym. It’s like a status symbol that you can afford to belong to a place like that, and I fully felt that way when I was a member, but I don’t feel any less awesome because I now belong to yoga works.
Maybe it is because I am down to earth, and only really care about my yoga practice, but today I noticed something about the gym I never noticed before. A really large portion of the women in the gym today were all wearing a lot of make-up. Not like they put a little on in the morning and came to exercise in the afternoon, but as if they got all made up to go out for a night on the town, but by mistake went to the gym. I know some people view the gym as a place to meet someone, but looking like a high priced call girl is not going to attract a mate unless you are a call girl then no problem.
I have made friends at the gym, because many people talk to me, but I never met someone who asked me out on a date. I also never put on make-up before I took a class in the exercise room. I am way too lazy to have to shower and then reapply my make-up. I would assume the women are trying to make themselves more attractive, but I just think they look weird, out of place, and desperate.
I would place the emphasis on the out of place. A little make-up is fine if you want to even out your skin tone. I am a woman, and I do understand the way it feels to look good, but there is difference. Night time make up if for the night time not the gym.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Why have I been staying in the Valley?
Why have I been staying in the Valley?
The last two weeks I have taken classes from Ashley Albrand, and Angela Kuhahn. One word would describe both classes; FUN! Ashley is a modern day philosopher, and teaches messages of conscious combined with mixing two postures into one. Angela approaches her teaching with an emphasis on delight. The amazing thing about yoga is how a teacher or a student interprets teaching or being taught.
As a teacher and a student these classes have felt different to me. The last two weekends I have taken classes at Lululemon Santa Monica, and maybe just being in different surrounding changes the feel of the whole experience for me. I am not sure, but I find myself really excited to take the classes from teachers that are teaching in the Operation Shanti event. It could just be the positive energy of the teachers who are donating their time. It could be the fresh ocean air, or the weird bum on the sidewalk that just has to do a head stand right in front of the glass doors.
Yes, it was weird to see a bum getting in on the yoga action from outside. Only in Santa Monica! This week I will be attending as many classes as I can at Yogies Anonymous, Exhale, and anywhere else in Santa Monica. I wanted to do all this last summer, but I was in Canada for the majority of it. So instead of going to different classes in LA, I went to different classes in Vancouver. Now it’s the time to take full advantage of my last days of summer before school starts. My version of this is to try classes in Santa Monica, keep experiencing different teachers, and their personification of yoga.
The last two weeks I have taken classes from Ashley Albrand, and Angela Kuhahn. One word would describe both classes; FUN! Ashley is a modern day philosopher, and teaches messages of conscious combined with mixing two postures into one. Angela approaches her teaching with an emphasis on delight. The amazing thing about yoga is how a teacher or a student interprets teaching or being taught.
As a teacher and a student these classes have felt different to me. The last two weekends I have taken classes at Lululemon Santa Monica, and maybe just being in different surrounding changes the feel of the whole experience for me. I am not sure, but I find myself really excited to take the classes from teachers that are teaching in the Operation Shanti event. It could just be the positive energy of the teachers who are donating their time. It could be the fresh ocean air, or the weird bum on the sidewalk that just has to do a head stand right in front of the glass doors.
Yes, it was weird to see a bum getting in on the yoga action from outside. Only in Santa Monica! This week I will be attending as many classes as I can at Yogies Anonymous, Exhale, and anywhere else in Santa Monica. I wanted to do all this last summer, but I was in Canada for the majority of it. So instead of going to different classes in LA, I went to different classes in Vancouver. Now it’s the time to take full advantage of my last days of summer before school starts. My version of this is to try classes in Santa Monica, keep experiencing different teachers, and their personification of yoga.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Operation Shanti and Lululemon part 1
Operation Shanti and Lululemon part 1
On August 7th I attended my first promotional class for Operation Shanti (peace). LA Rocks Operation Shanti is a charity event one of my favorite yoga teachers has put together. Garth Hewitt studied yoga in Mysore India, and he was really taken back by the poverty in India. The children and their families do not have money for basic survival needs like, food, clothing, and shelter. He began a campaign to raise enough money to build an orphanage in that town. Through two events he is 1/4th of the way there. This next affair should raise enough money to make it to the half way point. To fundraise Garth asked friends from the west side to help him in his pursuit.
I think everyone he asked manned up, and many of the best yoga teachers are donating their time, and expertise to promote the event. The teachers involved will all teach a segment of at the master class coming up on September 17th. One leg of the promotion includes Lululemon stores in Brentwood and Santa Monica. I will be helping promote the event at the Lululemon store in Santa Monica. On Sunday morning at 7am I wake up, and meet the different teachers at the store by 9:15. On August 7th I met up with Christi Christensen. She works at Exhale Venice where she teaches and manages. Christi was the first teacher to teach in the Santa Monica store, and it was an amazing class.
I believe Christi also teaches surf camp on Saturdays. Her class was a lot of fun, even for the students in the class that had never done yoga before. It was a mixed crowd that Sunday. Some people had many years experience, some had maybe two classes, and some were teachers. All levels were represented in the class, and it was a great way to kick off the LA Rocks operation Shanti Santa Monica store extravaganza. Christi will also be teaching as part of the round robin class on September 17th.
A round robin is where many different teachers teach a twenty minute segment of a class. From the two teachers I have taken classes from so far I actually think the master class on Sept 17th is going to be a real treat. Christi has a wonderful vinyasa flow style of teaching yoga she teaches with ease, and grace. Her explanation of where your body should be directed was effortless, and her instruction of postures is perfection. Taking a class with Christi is like all kinds of awesome.
I believe many of the teachers involved with this process are some of the best and most Iconic on the west side. Ashley Albrand taught on August 14, but still to come is Angela Kukhahn on August 21st, and the man himself Garth Hewitt on August 28th. I am so impressed that everyone is pitching to help Garth raise money to build this orphanage. I cannot imagine how many people Garth will be helping in the future with just this one gift. This orphanage will give the kids basic survival needs. The path being created for the kids who live in the orphanage will be priceless. I love this idea, and hope this next event will raise more money than expected.
On August 7th I attended my first promotional class for Operation Shanti (peace). LA Rocks Operation Shanti is a charity event one of my favorite yoga teachers has put together. Garth Hewitt studied yoga in Mysore India, and he was really taken back by the poverty in India. The children and their families do not have money for basic survival needs like, food, clothing, and shelter. He began a campaign to raise enough money to build an orphanage in that town. Through two events he is 1/4th of the way there. This next affair should raise enough money to make it to the half way point. To fundraise Garth asked friends from the west side to help him in his pursuit.
I think everyone he asked manned up, and many of the best yoga teachers are donating their time, and expertise to promote the event. The teachers involved will all teach a segment of at the master class coming up on September 17th. One leg of the promotion includes Lululemon stores in Brentwood and Santa Monica. I will be helping promote the event at the Lululemon store in Santa Monica. On Sunday morning at 7am I wake up, and meet the different teachers at the store by 9:15. On August 7th I met up with Christi Christensen. She works at Exhale Venice where she teaches and manages. Christi was the first teacher to teach in the Santa Monica store, and it was an amazing class.
I believe Christi also teaches surf camp on Saturdays. Her class was a lot of fun, even for the students in the class that had never done yoga before. It was a mixed crowd that Sunday. Some people had many years experience, some had maybe two classes, and some were teachers. All levels were represented in the class, and it was a great way to kick off the LA Rocks operation Shanti Santa Monica store extravaganza. Christi will also be teaching as part of the round robin class on September 17th.
A round robin is where many different teachers teach a twenty minute segment of a class. From the two teachers I have taken classes from so far I actually think the master class on Sept 17th is going to be a real treat. Christi has a wonderful vinyasa flow style of teaching yoga she teaches with ease, and grace. Her explanation of where your body should be directed was effortless, and her instruction of postures is perfection. Taking a class with Christi is like all kinds of awesome.
I believe many of the teachers involved with this process are some of the best and most Iconic on the west side. Ashley Albrand taught on August 14, but still to come is Angela Kukhahn on August 21st, and the man himself Garth Hewitt on August 28th. I am so impressed that everyone is pitching to help Garth raise money to build this orphanage. I cannot imagine how many people Garth will be helping in the future with just this one gift. This orphanage will give the kids basic survival needs. The path being created for the kids who live in the orphanage will be priceless. I love this idea, and hope this next event will raise more money than expected.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
out of control
Out of Control
These last two weeks have been action packed with a lot of nothing. Yes, a lot of nothing. I mostly did yoga and charity. I started to volunteer with Sova on Fridays between 9:30am-2pm. I get to talk to people who are homeless, or down on their luck. From a list of food I essentially take their order, and packers give them a week’s worth of groceries for free. While it seems like it is so easy it’s not. Many of the people who came in last Friday did not speak any English. I hardly speak any Spanish except I do know some names of food. Trying to communicate is a challenge.
Luckily there are also booklets with pictures of food that are available on the list, so I point and people said Si or No. The first Friday was really fun and fast paced, but this last Friday was difficult. It is really hard to help someone who cannot communicate with you. I was grateful that many of the people who were there to get food came up to me and offered me their help. I only had to ask once for a translation. It was really refreshing to see everyone pitching in.
Granted there is always one bad apple that spoils the bunch. One woman came in, and I just felt like she was milking the system. Her nails were manicured, and her clothes were nicer than what I usually see there. She kept asking for things that may have been available at one time, but were not on that day. It was weird, and I don’t really know for sure that she was taking advantage, but it is just a gut feeling. Most people who come to get food are just grateful for the food and say thank you, and they never ask for more. The bad apple she asked for the kitchen sink and an apartment in the sky.
I guess it annoyed me, and she was the last person I helped that day. I left Sova feeling weird, but I had a long day ahead of me, so I let it go. I ran home to get changed, and headed into Beverly Hills to meet my mom for a little retail therapy. Beyond Yoga is in the building where my mom also has her office, they were having a sample sale, and my mom and I got some things. I got three yoga outfits for the price of one. It was amazing, and needed. I spend most of my time in yoga clothing, so it was worth it.
After the sample sale I headed into Santa Monica to drop off promotional goods to three yoga studios. I volunteered to help my friend raise money to build an orphanage in India. The event is in a month and I am really excited to be a part of this affair. At first I was slightly overwhelmed because I had no idea how many moving parts were involved, but after the promotional material was sent out I felt more comfortable with my responsibilities. I will blog more about this in the weeks to come.
These last two weeks have been action packed with a lot of nothing. Yes, a lot of nothing. I mostly did yoga and charity. I started to volunteer with Sova on Fridays between 9:30am-2pm. I get to talk to people who are homeless, or down on their luck. From a list of food I essentially take their order, and packers give them a week’s worth of groceries for free. While it seems like it is so easy it’s not. Many of the people who came in last Friday did not speak any English. I hardly speak any Spanish except I do know some names of food. Trying to communicate is a challenge.
Luckily there are also booklets with pictures of food that are available on the list, so I point and people said Si or No. The first Friday was really fun and fast paced, but this last Friday was difficult. It is really hard to help someone who cannot communicate with you. I was grateful that many of the people who were there to get food came up to me and offered me their help. I only had to ask once for a translation. It was really refreshing to see everyone pitching in.
Granted there is always one bad apple that spoils the bunch. One woman came in, and I just felt like she was milking the system. Her nails were manicured, and her clothes were nicer than what I usually see there. She kept asking for things that may have been available at one time, but were not on that day. It was weird, and I don’t really know for sure that she was taking advantage, but it is just a gut feeling. Most people who come to get food are just grateful for the food and say thank you, and they never ask for more. The bad apple she asked for the kitchen sink and an apartment in the sky.
I guess it annoyed me, and she was the last person I helped that day. I left Sova feeling weird, but I had a long day ahead of me, so I let it go. I ran home to get changed, and headed into Beverly Hills to meet my mom for a little retail therapy. Beyond Yoga is in the building where my mom also has her office, they were having a sample sale, and my mom and I got some things. I got three yoga outfits for the price of one. It was amazing, and needed. I spend most of my time in yoga clothing, so it was worth it.
After the sample sale I headed into Santa Monica to drop off promotional goods to three yoga studios. I volunteered to help my friend raise money to build an orphanage in India. The event is in a month and I am really excited to be a part of this affair. At first I was slightly overwhelmed because I had no idea how many moving parts were involved, but after the promotional material was sent out I felt more comfortable with my responsibilities. I will blog more about this in the weeks to come.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Everything has changed.
Everything has changed.
Three years ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I moved back here from San Diego. I made a decision to change many things in my life, and am at a point where I am seeing the fruits of my labors. To change I believe you need to get all your ducks in arrow, and just go for it. I had to let go of many social groups I was interconnected with to make this change, and it was so hard to reestablish myself as an adult.
I kept some friends that had a lot of things in common with me, and through those friends I made new ones. These newer people in my life have brought a lot of substance into it, and I enjoy the types of friendships I have cultivated. I would say my life three years ago was much more superficial than it is now. I ignored my more intellectual side to stay involved with people who had out grown me, and vice versa.
Friends from the past stay immersed in what they do, and who they are when there is no whisper coming from their subconscious to change. I was the one who was bored with myself, my life, and my decision had to do with me, not everyone else. I will say there were days during the first year where I just missed old friendships, but I did my best to just move forward, and I am glad I did.
Some of the people I left behind I will always miss. One was a sister to me, but our friendship was codependent, and I felt she used me as a crutch in life. I am sure that without me she is doing better in general. While I miss the closeness we had I know deep down even though I hurt her by shutting her out of my life I also did her the biggest favor of all time. I also miss some of the peripheral people that I no longer make any effort to be around, but life goes on and maybe one day some people from my past will reconnect with me in the future.
As of now I have great friends, and I look forward to every day that comes along. I always wanted to do charity work, and now I make the effort to get my hands dirty. I wanted to finish school, and I am fully committed to school. I am even on track to get a masters in my field of study. Three years ago I was looking for a new job, getting offers, but really had no passion for what I was doing. Today I feel the passion building inside of me, and look forward to what comes next.
I start my four year at the end of this month, and I am so excited to get through the next few years, so I can start working in my new profession. I am so thankful I have made the choices I have made, and feel extremely blessed in the present moment. All I want now is a partner in crime!
Three years ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I moved back here from San Diego. I made a decision to change many things in my life, and am at a point where I am seeing the fruits of my labors. To change I believe you need to get all your ducks in arrow, and just go for it. I had to let go of many social groups I was interconnected with to make this change, and it was so hard to reestablish myself as an adult.
I kept some friends that had a lot of things in common with me, and through those friends I made new ones. These newer people in my life have brought a lot of substance into it, and I enjoy the types of friendships I have cultivated. I would say my life three years ago was much more superficial than it is now. I ignored my more intellectual side to stay involved with people who had out grown me, and vice versa.
Friends from the past stay immersed in what they do, and who they are when there is no whisper coming from their subconscious to change. I was the one who was bored with myself, my life, and my decision had to do with me, not everyone else. I will say there were days during the first year where I just missed old friendships, but I did my best to just move forward, and I am glad I did.
Some of the people I left behind I will always miss. One was a sister to me, but our friendship was codependent, and I felt she used me as a crutch in life. I am sure that without me she is doing better in general. While I miss the closeness we had I know deep down even though I hurt her by shutting her out of my life I also did her the biggest favor of all time. I also miss some of the peripheral people that I no longer make any effort to be around, but life goes on and maybe one day some people from my past will reconnect with me in the future.
As of now I have great friends, and I look forward to every day that comes along. I always wanted to do charity work, and now I make the effort to get my hands dirty. I wanted to finish school, and I am fully committed to school. I am even on track to get a masters in my field of study. Three years ago I was looking for a new job, getting offers, but really had no passion for what I was doing. Today I feel the passion building inside of me, and look forward to what comes next.
I start my four year at the end of this month, and I am so excited to get through the next few years, so I can start working in my new profession. I am so thankful I have made the choices I have made, and feel extremely blessed in the present moment. All I want now is a partner in crime!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Summer Charity
Summer Charity
I believe giving back is a way of life. Not everyone has this same idea, but I live day to day knowing there are always people richer than me, and people who are poorer than me. This philosophy works at any end of the spectrum, unless you are the richest person in the world then everyone is just less fortunate. Every day I am blesses that I can eat in the finest restaurants, go to the store and purchase goods, and get to sleep in a bed in my own room every night. There are many people in this country that do not even have a bed, money to purchase food, or clothing.
I would say my friends will never have to worry about where their next meal is going to come from. I think that is a blessing. Throughout the year I take the time to organize and participate working with charities in the area that give back to residents of Los Angeles. This summer SOVA, and Camp Max Straus were on my list.
SOVA is a Jewish food pantry that gives food once a month to a growing population of people that simply cannot afford to purchase food. Since the economy has taken a down turn in the past few years many middle class families are now relying on goods from the pantry once a month. This is putting a strain on resources at the pantries across Los Angeles, but there is somehow always enough at SOVA. No matter what race, religion, and age SOVA will hand you groceries that will feed a family of four for a week.
A week’s worth of food, and sometimes toiletries to relieve the stress of trying to figure out how to pay for groceries, and feed family members is priceless. I could not imagine the stress it would cause me mentally to have to worry about my family, and where food would come from if I needed it, but was unable to purchase it. The last two years I have organized a day for my friends and volunteers from the WGroup to participate in a sorting and packing day. For two hours we sort and pack goods.
Those two hours help so many people. Without a doubt those two hours are some of the most significant of my life. Last Sunday I added a new charity to the rotation. I think everyone has heard of Big Brother / Big Sister. If not it is a mentor program where you are paired with a child of the same sex and you mentor the child until they turn eighteen. Most of the children come from single parent homes, or homes just at the poverty line. In the summer this charity called JBB has a summer sleep away camp for these children.
On Sunday a group of WGroup volunteers and me helped create a carnival day for the campers. I was given three carnival games from Bart’s Carts to use for the day, and the campers went crazy! We had a can smash, tic tac toe, and a milk carton toss, and each game had a line up. The campers really liked the can smash. It’s a five cans stacked up like in the shape of a pyramid, and in three tries the campers needed to knock over all five cans. They were given prizes if they knocked over two, but if five were all off the platform they got a cool stuffed animal. The animals were very popular. I think every camper played the game more than once.
Most of the children don’t have to money to go to a carnival, and many of them had never played any of these carnival games. To be able to provide that experience for anyone is just amazing. It was one of the best days this summer, and I think I will remember it for years to come.
I believe giving back is a way of life. Not everyone has this same idea, but I live day to day knowing there are always people richer than me, and people who are poorer than me. This philosophy works at any end of the spectrum, unless you are the richest person in the world then everyone is just less fortunate. Every day I am blesses that I can eat in the finest restaurants, go to the store and purchase goods, and get to sleep in a bed in my own room every night. There are many people in this country that do not even have a bed, money to purchase food, or clothing.
I would say my friends will never have to worry about where their next meal is going to come from. I think that is a blessing. Throughout the year I take the time to organize and participate working with charities in the area that give back to residents of Los Angeles. This summer SOVA, and Camp Max Straus were on my list.
SOVA is a Jewish food pantry that gives food once a month to a growing population of people that simply cannot afford to purchase food. Since the economy has taken a down turn in the past few years many middle class families are now relying on goods from the pantry once a month. This is putting a strain on resources at the pantries across Los Angeles, but there is somehow always enough at SOVA. No matter what race, religion, and age SOVA will hand you groceries that will feed a family of four for a week.
A week’s worth of food, and sometimes toiletries to relieve the stress of trying to figure out how to pay for groceries, and feed family members is priceless. I could not imagine the stress it would cause me mentally to have to worry about my family, and where food would come from if I needed it, but was unable to purchase it. The last two years I have organized a day for my friends and volunteers from the WGroup to participate in a sorting and packing day. For two hours we sort and pack goods.
Those two hours help so many people. Without a doubt those two hours are some of the most significant of my life. Last Sunday I added a new charity to the rotation. I think everyone has heard of Big Brother / Big Sister. If not it is a mentor program where you are paired with a child of the same sex and you mentor the child until they turn eighteen. Most of the children come from single parent homes, or homes just at the poverty line. In the summer this charity called JBB has a summer sleep away camp for these children.
On Sunday a group of WGroup volunteers and me helped create a carnival day for the campers. I was given three carnival games from Bart’s Carts to use for the day, and the campers went crazy! We had a can smash, tic tac toe, and a milk carton toss, and each game had a line up. The campers really liked the can smash. It’s a five cans stacked up like in the shape of a pyramid, and in three tries the campers needed to knock over all five cans. They were given prizes if they knocked over two, but if five were all off the platform they got a cool stuffed animal. The animals were very popular. I think every camper played the game more than once.
Most of the children don’t have to money to go to a carnival, and many of them had never played any of these carnival games. To be able to provide that experience for anyone is just amazing. It was one of the best days this summer, and I think I will remember it for years to come.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The dirty Thirty list
The dirty Thirty list
1) Finished My 30 day challenge.
2) Got a 90 min massage.
3) Feel stronger physically than last month.
4) I have noticed my meditation is much different than it was. I am much more relaxed, sleeping sounder and more focused than I was.
5) I have a lot more energy.
6) Yesterday was the first day I did not do yoga, but strangely wanted to attend a class.
7) I will continue in this path, but go to yoga five times a week.
8) By day 15 my body hurt everywhere, and I made it to twenty days, and then once I was at twenty five days I had to force myself every day.
9) I pulled thigh muscle on my left leg, pulled muscles in my bum, and my right calf was really tight, but not anymore.
10) I have learned I need a day off after a couple days of yoga in a row. I need the time for my body to naturally repair itself from my practice.
11) Glad I did it, not sure if I will do it again, but I feel great!
1) Finished My 30 day challenge.
2) Got a 90 min massage.
3) Feel stronger physically than last month.
4) I have noticed my meditation is much different than it was. I am much more relaxed, sleeping sounder and more focused than I was.
5) I have a lot more energy.
6) Yesterday was the first day I did not do yoga, but strangely wanted to attend a class.
7) I will continue in this path, but go to yoga five times a week.
8) By day 15 my body hurt everywhere, and I made it to twenty days, and then once I was at twenty five days I had to force myself every day.
9) I pulled thigh muscle on my left leg, pulled muscles in my bum, and my right calf was really tight, but not anymore.
10) I have learned I need a day off after a couple days of yoga in a row. I need the time for my body to naturally repair itself from my practice.
11) Glad I did it, not sure if I will do it again, but I feel great!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Rite of passage.
As everyone gets older we have certain points where forward motion is celebrated like, baby showers, weddings, graduations, etc. In my adult life I believe I just hit a milestone. I gave my first Shabbat dinner for my friends and some family. While I was planning this Friday night extravaganza I did not really take a moment to think about the idea of this next step in life.
Before my real teenage years my family always had Shabbat dinner on
Friday night. The tradition died once I became a full on teenager, because I wanted to spend Friday night at my friends houses. Looking back maybe I should not have been so hasty to hang with my friends. I am not even close friends with anyone from junior high school any more. Either way I felt it was now my turn to start this tradition with the people in my life now. Married, unmarried, and couples with children were all invited to come. Many did and it was a great night.
I prepared food for twenty people, and I think I did a good job. Many of my friends have food allergies, so to control what was in the ingredients of the food I prepared the majority of the dinner. The preparation started the Thursday before Shabbat. I had dipping sauces, and marinades for chicken and steak to make. The next day I practiced yoga and cooked for the remainder of the afternoon. I really liked cooking for everyone. My friend Danny came to help me BBQ, and some of my friends brought dessert, but everyone brought wine.
The dining room filled with friends by 7pm, and we opened the wine. Everyone took a glass and my father recited the prayer for the wine, and we all chanted along. Then the prayer for light, and bread followed. All of our voices in unison chanted, and more people trickled in around 7:30pm. We all started to fill our plates with food, and instead of sitting at a table I placed chairs all around the living room. We sat and ate with our plates on our laps. We talked, laughed, drank, and fed ourselves into oblivion.
We exchanged stories about each other, and shared stories from our past. Many of my friends have never met before, but last Friday they did, and everyone really got along. It’s not surprising, because I have great people in my life, and I picked them out all by myself. Towards the end of the evening one of my friends, who happens to be a magician, dazzled us with some tricks. At almost midnight everyone started to clear out. The celebration went so well I have decided to have Shabbat at my house once every couple of months.
It is now my turn to make this Friday night celebration a tradition of my own. I look forward to the years of throwing these gatherings, and the memories these nights will create. I hope it grows into something that all my friends will continue to take part in with me through all the good times and the bad. For the first time I now feel like an adult, and know even if I don’t have a family of my own just yet it is right around the corner.
Before my real teenage years my family always had Shabbat dinner on
Friday night. The tradition died once I became a full on teenager, because I wanted to spend Friday night at my friends houses. Looking back maybe I should not have been so hasty to hang with my friends. I am not even close friends with anyone from junior high school any more. Either way I felt it was now my turn to start this tradition with the people in my life now. Married, unmarried, and couples with children were all invited to come. Many did and it was a great night.
I prepared food for twenty people, and I think I did a good job. Many of my friends have food allergies, so to control what was in the ingredients of the food I prepared the majority of the dinner. The preparation started the Thursday before Shabbat. I had dipping sauces, and marinades for chicken and steak to make. The next day I practiced yoga and cooked for the remainder of the afternoon. I really liked cooking for everyone. My friend Danny came to help me BBQ, and some of my friends brought dessert, but everyone brought wine.
The dining room filled with friends by 7pm, and we opened the wine. Everyone took a glass and my father recited the prayer for the wine, and we all chanted along. Then the prayer for light, and bread followed. All of our voices in unison chanted, and more people trickled in around 7:30pm. We all started to fill our plates with food, and instead of sitting at a table I placed chairs all around the living room. We sat and ate with our plates on our laps. We talked, laughed, drank, and fed ourselves into oblivion.
We exchanged stories about each other, and shared stories from our past. Many of my friends have never met before, but last Friday they did, and everyone really got along. It’s not surprising, because I have great people in my life, and I picked them out all by myself. Towards the end of the evening one of my friends, who happens to be a magician, dazzled us with some tricks. At almost midnight everyone started to clear out. The celebration went so well I have decided to have Shabbat at my house once every couple of months.
It is now my turn to make this Friday night celebration a tradition of my own. I look forward to the years of throwing these gatherings, and the memories these nights will create. I hope it grows into something that all my friends will continue to take part in with me through all the good times and the bad. For the first time I now feel like an adult, and know even if I don’t have a family of my own just yet it is right around the corner.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
We hate it when our friends become successful.
We hate it when our friends become successful.
Once upon a time when I had a career and was achieving all that I had ever wanted I was not very happy. Now that I am a full time student I am very happy, but sometimes I am envious of my friends who have jobs. Yes, I know it is crazy, but it’s true. That was also the end of my 1980’s pop culture references, and I digress. It is weird, but the summer is a bummer when you aren’t a kid. I know I am very lucky to be able to live the way I do, but I was thinking of my previous path today and became a bit melancholy .
If I had fought through all the financial turmoil my company was facing would I have pulled my business through this recession? Would I even bee further along than I was at the time, or would the same thing have happened but just later down the line? Slowly my business was sucking the life out of me, but there were things I loved about it. I loved getting up every day designing, building something from nothing, the passion I had for what I was doing, and the press the company received. I hated, hated, production, separating out tee shirts into colors, and dealing with other companies not ever paying or paying on time. The whole financial aspect just irritated me in general and unfortunately all the time. Every month I was making money, but expanding as well, so more and more dollars went out to produce goods.
The money I was making did not compensate for the endless worrying, working hours, or the vacations I took but could never actually rejuvenate, because the office always called. I was constantly stressed out about one thing or another. Towards the end I was a mental case. I could not sleep through the night, keep a constant train of thought, or keep appointments. I no longer have any of those problems, and I recognize living in a constant state of unrest is bad for your health. Sometimes I feel it is a blessing I no longer have that type of company.
Today I miss it. I miss the passion I had about what I was doing at the time. I still have that fire in me burning deep in my soul, but it is for very different things now. I am very passionate about what I am planning for my future, but that is the future, and now I am in a paused state. Like swimming towards the shore in a race, and in my head I am way out ahead of my opponents, and the water is easy to swim in. I am very focused, and the infatuation I felt while I was building something is bubbling up to the surface, but I want to be engulfed in that feeling again. It’s like my special type of caviar.
When I see my friends in rising up the corporate latter, or building their companies I wonder if they feel that inner push for divinity. Then my mind wanders to the way I felt in the past about everything I just mentioned, and I beguine to rationalize that I am better off now. After all I get to sleep, be happy, have friends, and a life. Is that actually a rationalization, or is it just living? Like I said I had no time for anything but building a company. After I closed , and dealt with all the financial repercussions of doing so, I finally got to sleep through the night.
I remember the relief I felt just to get to sleep, and the week after I was grateful every night that I slept a whole eight hours. Then out of nowhere I was happy, and now every day I give thanks. I am grateful I sleep every night, and get to be happy every day. It really is the little things, but today I miss it all.
Once upon a time when I had a career and was achieving all that I had ever wanted I was not very happy. Now that I am a full time student I am very happy, but sometimes I am envious of my friends who have jobs. Yes, I know it is crazy, but it’s true. That was also the end of my 1980’s pop culture references, and I digress. It is weird, but the summer is a bummer when you aren’t a kid. I know I am very lucky to be able to live the way I do, but I was thinking of my previous path today and became a bit melancholy .
If I had fought through all the financial turmoil my company was facing would I have pulled my business through this recession? Would I even bee further along than I was at the time, or would the same thing have happened but just later down the line? Slowly my business was sucking the life out of me, but there were things I loved about it. I loved getting up every day designing, building something from nothing, the passion I had for what I was doing, and the press the company received. I hated, hated, production, separating out tee shirts into colors, and dealing with other companies not ever paying or paying on time. The whole financial aspect just irritated me in general and unfortunately all the time. Every month I was making money, but expanding as well, so more and more dollars went out to produce goods.
The money I was making did not compensate for the endless worrying, working hours, or the vacations I took but could never actually rejuvenate, because the office always called. I was constantly stressed out about one thing or another. Towards the end I was a mental case. I could not sleep through the night, keep a constant train of thought, or keep appointments. I no longer have any of those problems, and I recognize living in a constant state of unrest is bad for your health. Sometimes I feel it is a blessing I no longer have that type of company.
Today I miss it. I miss the passion I had about what I was doing at the time. I still have that fire in me burning deep in my soul, but it is for very different things now. I am very passionate about what I am planning for my future, but that is the future, and now I am in a paused state. Like swimming towards the shore in a race, and in my head I am way out ahead of my opponents, and the water is easy to swim in. I am very focused, and the infatuation I felt while I was building something is bubbling up to the surface, but I want to be engulfed in that feeling again. It’s like my special type of caviar.
When I see my friends in rising up the corporate latter, or building their companies I wonder if they feel that inner push for divinity. Then my mind wanders to the way I felt in the past about everything I just mentioned, and I beguine to rationalize that I am better off now. After all I get to sleep, be happy, have friends, and a life. Is that actually a rationalization, or is it just living? Like I said I had no time for anything but building a company. After I closed , and dealt with all the financial repercussions of doing so, I finally got to sleep through the night.
I remember the relief I felt just to get to sleep, and the week after I was grateful every night that I slept a whole eight hours. Then out of nowhere I was happy, and now every day I give thanks. I am grateful I sleep every night, and get to be happy every day. It really is the little things, but today I miss it all.
Not even this will take cellulite away.
I am being such a little baby about the whole thing.
Day twenty of my thirty day challenge and I am feeling good. Five days ago I did not feel so good. I hurt everywhere, and was up against my edge. My muscles were so tight and angry at me, but that has all gone away now. I will say this I am a bit buffer in my shoulder area than I would like to be, but I do not look like a man, so it’s ok. Many things on my body look slightly different, but in a positive way except for the cellulite that no longer will go away.
I am happy I made this commitment and followed through. In June I was sick more than half the month, so yoga was out of the question. Once July started I felt out of shape and weak. I thought because I was weak and had nothing else pressing I should do a thirty day training to get back into shape. I am back in shape, and believe I will continue to practice five times a week now in general. Obviously if I go on vacation, or need a time out I will take it, but I feel really good when I am in shape like this.
I can hold arm balances, head stand, and peacock longer. Shoulder stand is an even bigger problem for me now that more muscle is in the way of my arms rotation internally behind me. During my teacher training my rib cage expanded a lot, and after that both my scapulas can only slide so far onto my back until I feel sharp pain. Add muscle into the equation and I can hardly clasp my hands behind my back any more. I need a strap stat!
Other than the pain of clasping my hands behind my back I cannot complain.
I came up against my edge and moved passed it. I feel refreshed and ready to take on these last ten days without complaining too much about it. I also found a lot of teachers that I like because of this challenge. I took classes I would not normally take, and for that I am grateful.
Day twenty of my thirty day challenge and I am feeling good. Five days ago I did not feel so good. I hurt everywhere, and was up against my edge. My muscles were so tight and angry at me, but that has all gone away now. I will say this I am a bit buffer in my shoulder area than I would like to be, but I do not look like a man, so it’s ok. Many things on my body look slightly different, but in a positive way except for the cellulite that no longer will go away.
I am happy I made this commitment and followed through. In June I was sick more than half the month, so yoga was out of the question. Once July started I felt out of shape and weak. I thought because I was weak and had nothing else pressing I should do a thirty day training to get back into shape. I am back in shape, and believe I will continue to practice five times a week now in general. Obviously if I go on vacation, or need a time out I will take it, but I feel really good when I am in shape like this.
I can hold arm balances, head stand, and peacock longer. Shoulder stand is an even bigger problem for me now that more muscle is in the way of my arms rotation internally behind me. During my teacher training my rib cage expanded a lot, and after that both my scapulas can only slide so far onto my back until I feel sharp pain. Add muscle into the equation and I can hardly clasp my hands behind my back any more. I need a strap stat!
Other than the pain of clasping my hands behind my back I cannot complain.
I came up against my edge and moved passed it. I feel refreshed and ready to take on these last ten days without complaining too much about it. I also found a lot of teachers that I like because of this challenge. I took classes I would not normally take, and for that I am grateful.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Love potion #9
Love potion #9
I have no idea what I was giving off over the weekend, but my ego received quite a boost over the weekend. Friday and Saturday night I actually went out, and believe it or not I did not turn into a pumpkin. Friday I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and drinks, Saturday was a birthday party, and Sunday I recovered.
Friday my east coast woman and I met for dinner at a sushi place I have just fallen in love with. It was on the expensive side, but the food was so fresh and amazing. I think it’s called Sushi Inka. It is in the Valley directly across the street from Whole foods in Tarzana. We ate up and went out to a bar I like for drinks. Friday was carmageddon, so no one really wanted to go too far away from their homes, so we did stay local. We were on the way to The Valley Inn for their special drink menu, but I made a B line for John O’ Groats instead.
I like the bar area in there, and figured there would be a younger crowd, and there was a young drunk crowd. Why is it the drunker you become the louder your voice is? Anyways there were nine people at the bar doing tokillaya shots, and having other drinks as well. There were a couple of brothers in the crowd, and I have to say the brothers just love me.
Out of nowhere one of them comes to the table, and I am sitting at alone, because my friend went to the ladies room. He took my hand in his and looked at my nails, turned my hand over, then back again, and placed my hand back on the table. He backed up and in his drunken swagger let me know he thought I was trouble. After his analogy he walked back to the bar where his girlfriend was sitting and joined the conversation already going on. The bar keep asked him not to molest the other guests.
The bartender walked back to our table and asked my friend for her drink order and apologized for the other guys behavior. As my friend and I drank the brother kept trying to make eye contact, and I did a great job of ignoring him until he got up to leave. My friend and I were so happy to see the group of them go because they were so loud it was annoying. The brother looked back and asked if I wanted to talk to him. I said No, and he asked three more times. I politely said no three more times. A while past and a good conversation got rolling when out of nowhere the guy came back into the bar.
Once my friend and I saw him we were both unnerved. It was an awkward moment, and we both thought he came back to try to talk to me, but thankfully he did not. He went to the bathroom, called me trouble, and left out a different door. Shortly after we also left and went home for the night. The night was over early so I could go to a yoga class Saturday morning.
Luckily there was no traffic on Saturday in the morning, afternoon, or night. I drove over to the west side and picked up my BF and his friend. We drove to Beachwood and the whole ride was 30 minutes tops. That is to my friends, and to Venice. There were no people on the road, and it was amazing. Once we arrived and joined the party my other friend Woodie could not keep his hands off me.
This was out of the ordinary for Woddie, and he is always nice to me, but he was drunk and then a little more. Needles to say I had to give him a lecture about boundaries. I told him my behind and my chest did not belong to him, and he could look, admire, and talk about them but was not under any circumstances allowed to touch my behind. He never went for the boobies, but he pretended to grab and dash. He also lectured me about the size of his member below. Considering how out of his mind he was his behavior was more funny than rude. It was all funny. I really had no idea where all this attention was coming from, but I’ll take it.
The attention was nice and actually made me feel really god about myself. It was the first time in months anyone has come on to me, and I enjoyed the ego boot immensely. Later in the night another friend asked if I wanted to go to the beach and walk in the sand. I think he actually wanted to spend more time with me in general, but who knows where anything leads to these days.
I have no idea what I was giving off over the weekend, but my ego received quite a boost over the weekend. Friday and Saturday night I actually went out, and believe it or not I did not turn into a pumpkin. Friday I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and drinks, Saturday was a birthday party, and Sunday I recovered.
Friday my east coast woman and I met for dinner at a sushi place I have just fallen in love with. It was on the expensive side, but the food was so fresh and amazing. I think it’s called Sushi Inka. It is in the Valley directly across the street from Whole foods in Tarzana. We ate up and went out to a bar I like for drinks. Friday was carmageddon, so no one really wanted to go too far away from their homes, so we did stay local. We were on the way to The Valley Inn for their special drink menu, but I made a B line for John O’ Groats instead.
I like the bar area in there, and figured there would be a younger crowd, and there was a young drunk crowd. Why is it the drunker you become the louder your voice is? Anyways there were nine people at the bar doing tokillaya shots, and having other drinks as well. There were a couple of brothers in the crowd, and I have to say the brothers just love me.
Out of nowhere one of them comes to the table, and I am sitting at alone, because my friend went to the ladies room. He took my hand in his and looked at my nails, turned my hand over, then back again, and placed my hand back on the table. He backed up and in his drunken swagger let me know he thought I was trouble. After his analogy he walked back to the bar where his girlfriend was sitting and joined the conversation already going on. The bar keep asked him not to molest the other guests.
The bartender walked back to our table and asked my friend for her drink order and apologized for the other guys behavior. As my friend and I drank the brother kept trying to make eye contact, and I did a great job of ignoring him until he got up to leave. My friend and I were so happy to see the group of them go because they were so loud it was annoying. The brother looked back and asked if I wanted to talk to him. I said No, and he asked three more times. I politely said no three more times. A while past and a good conversation got rolling when out of nowhere the guy came back into the bar.
Once my friend and I saw him we were both unnerved. It was an awkward moment, and we both thought he came back to try to talk to me, but thankfully he did not. He went to the bathroom, called me trouble, and left out a different door. Shortly after we also left and went home for the night. The night was over early so I could go to a yoga class Saturday morning.
Luckily there was no traffic on Saturday in the morning, afternoon, or night. I drove over to the west side and picked up my BF and his friend. We drove to Beachwood and the whole ride was 30 minutes tops. That is to my friends, and to Venice. There were no people on the road, and it was amazing. Once we arrived and joined the party my other friend Woodie could not keep his hands off me.
This was out of the ordinary for Woddie, and he is always nice to me, but he was drunk and then a little more. Needles to say I had to give him a lecture about boundaries. I told him my behind and my chest did not belong to him, and he could look, admire, and talk about them but was not under any circumstances allowed to touch my behind. He never went for the boobies, but he pretended to grab and dash. He also lectured me about the size of his member below. Considering how out of his mind he was his behavior was more funny than rude. It was all funny. I really had no idea where all this attention was coming from, but I’ll take it.
The attention was nice and actually made me feel really god about myself. It was the first time in months anyone has come on to me, and I enjoyed the ego boot immensely. Later in the night another friend asked if I wanted to go to the beach and walk in the sand. I think he actually wanted to spend more time with me in general, but who knows where anything leads to these days.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Yes! I’m a geek
I just have to put it out there. I love marine biology, Harry Potter, and am so grateful I never became a comic book reader as a kid mostly because I would be still reading them in the closet that is. I can also admit I would rather see X men first class than a romantic comedy on the big screen. Call me crazy and I will agree. A few days ago someone asked me for recommendations of clubs in Vegas. I have no idea why.
I am sure I do not come across as a party girl, and know I can be perceived as being socially awkward. So given that I would rather go to an aquarium than Vegas I was surprised by this question. The last time I was in Vegas was for a bachelorette party, and I enjoyed myself one night, but got back by 2 am the next night. I did not plan one part of the trip and would not even know where to start.
My idea of a crazy night is a cocktail or two at a piano bar. Raise the roof! I know many people find enjoyment in happy hour and clubs, but I did all that in my teens and early twenty’s so now I am just a geek. I also have more fun during the day. I enjoy my yoga classes, being outside, swimming, biking, and to do all these things you need energy. If I go out and do the whole how you doing thing I am never fully awake the next day. My tendency to want to watch the biography channel is becoming a problem.
Now I have become concerned about my geeky tendencies, and in an effort to be more social I have been going out of my way to be more social. However in social settings I say odd things to strangers, but if you know me they are not so bizarre. I will give a few examples to explain myself better.
Last weekend I put together a Sova sorting and packing event. There were 12 people that had rsvpd yes, and I had sent them emails to make sure they would be in attendance.
Ten did show up on time and one person was an hour late. As long as you show up for charity work I am forever impressed. I asked the man who had just shown up of he was the married guy, and he was not. Immediately this late bloomer thought I was hitting on him. I was so embarrassed I avoided eye contact the remainder of the day. I thought he was a person I had spoken to on facebook who said he was coming, but it was not . As it turned out the not married guy did not even rsvp so I had no idea who he was. However, I just put my foot in my mouth. The second story is better.
At Rising Lotus where I teach I know many different people from being there. One yogie that takes classes there always took an Iyengar class I apprenticed in. We began chit chatting one day and I invited him to join my class for a free. I unfortunately said this instead, “You can come on me”. Then I immediately said, “I cannot recover from that statement”. Not only am I a geek, but I also have poor verbal skills, and I am in charge of putting together charity events. Nice!
I just have to put it out there. I love marine biology, Harry Potter, and am so grateful I never became a comic book reader as a kid mostly because I would be still reading them in the closet that is. I can also admit I would rather see X men first class than a romantic comedy on the big screen. Call me crazy and I will agree. A few days ago someone asked me for recommendations of clubs in Vegas. I have no idea why.
I am sure I do not come across as a party girl, and know I can be perceived as being socially awkward. So given that I would rather go to an aquarium than Vegas I was surprised by this question. The last time I was in Vegas was for a bachelorette party, and I enjoyed myself one night, but got back by 2 am the next night. I did not plan one part of the trip and would not even know where to start.
My idea of a crazy night is a cocktail or two at a piano bar. Raise the roof! I know many people find enjoyment in happy hour and clubs, but I did all that in my teens and early twenty’s so now I am just a geek. I also have more fun during the day. I enjoy my yoga classes, being outside, swimming, biking, and to do all these things you need energy. If I go out and do the whole how you doing thing I am never fully awake the next day. My tendency to want to watch the biography channel is becoming a problem.
Now I have become concerned about my geeky tendencies, and in an effort to be more social I have been going out of my way to be more social. However in social settings I say odd things to strangers, but if you know me they are not so bizarre. I will give a few examples to explain myself better.
Last weekend I put together a Sova sorting and packing event. There were 12 people that had rsvpd yes, and I had sent them emails to make sure they would be in attendance.
Ten did show up on time and one person was an hour late. As long as you show up for charity work I am forever impressed. I asked the man who had just shown up of he was the married guy, and he was not. Immediately this late bloomer thought I was hitting on him. I was so embarrassed I avoided eye contact the remainder of the day. I thought he was a person I had spoken to on facebook who said he was coming, but it was not . As it turned out the not married guy did not even rsvp so I had no idea who he was. However, I just put my foot in my mouth. The second story is better.
At Rising Lotus where I teach I know many different people from being there. One yogie that takes classes there always took an Iyengar class I apprenticed in. We began chit chatting one day and I invited him to join my class for a free. I unfortunately said this instead, “You can come on me”. Then I immediately said, “I cannot recover from that statement”. Not only am I a geek, but I also have poor verbal skills, and I am in charge of putting together charity events. Nice!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
They just won’t participate!
They just won’t participate!
Summer time has said to be for the children and now I know why. I am back in school and its summer time if I was a teenager I would be enjoying summer break with my friends. I would be going to the beach, movies, working on my tan, and other random fun kid experiences as well. Since I am an adult and have all the summers and winters off I find myself trying to corrupt my friends by getting them to play hokey from work, and join me for fun in the sun. It’s not really working this time, and for many reasons.
My friends now have important jobs like VP’s of blah blah blah owners of companies, and then I have my mommie friends. Now sometimes the mommie friends can hang out, and we go to parks, lunch or anything else that works. My more professional friends just don’t have the time these days to take any extra vacation time. The want to use the time for vacations with girlfriends, husbands, family, but don’t want to use the time for a day here or a day there for no good reason.
I get it, and if I had a career I would not take time off or would I? Well I did have a company, and one of the benefits of owning your own business is getting to take a vacation, or a random day off here and there. I did when I needed it, but I know I did not do it all that often, because I had a lot of responsibility. My friends have a lot of responsibilities to their families, bosses, and sometimes themselves. I feel like a kid. I have no worries, and I know I am fortunate to be in this space.
I have all the freedom in the world, and can do what I want whenever I want to do it, but I wish I had a playmate. My friend EF who moved to NY for a year would be just that. He is a writer for a living, and has a lot of free time. I am sure there would have been many days this summer that we would have spent time together. Last summer I spent a month in Canada with my boyfriend at the time, and I had the best time.
He was a day trader and he would wake up by 6am trade until 3pm and we were out and about the remainder of the day. During his working hours I woke up around 7:45. I threw clothes on, and walked to get us Americanos at our favorite coffee place. I came back had toast, got dresses and off to yoga I went. Came back made lunch, and we drove around, or went on hikes, did a pub crawl on petal bikes, and then made dinner. It was one of the best summers I have ever had. As a matter of fact I want a repeat!
Summer time has said to be for the children and now I know why. I am back in school and its summer time if I was a teenager I would be enjoying summer break with my friends. I would be going to the beach, movies, working on my tan, and other random fun kid experiences as well. Since I am an adult and have all the summers and winters off I find myself trying to corrupt my friends by getting them to play hokey from work, and join me for fun in the sun. It’s not really working this time, and for many reasons.
My friends now have important jobs like VP’s of blah blah blah owners of companies, and then I have my mommie friends. Now sometimes the mommie friends can hang out, and we go to parks, lunch or anything else that works. My more professional friends just don’t have the time these days to take any extra vacation time. The want to use the time for vacations with girlfriends, husbands, family, but don’t want to use the time for a day here or a day there for no good reason.
I get it, and if I had a career I would not take time off or would I? Well I did have a company, and one of the benefits of owning your own business is getting to take a vacation, or a random day off here and there. I did when I needed it, but I know I did not do it all that often, because I had a lot of responsibility. My friends have a lot of responsibilities to their families, bosses, and sometimes themselves. I feel like a kid. I have no worries, and I know I am fortunate to be in this space.
I have all the freedom in the world, and can do what I want whenever I want to do it, but I wish I had a playmate. My friend EF who moved to NY for a year would be just that. He is a writer for a living, and has a lot of free time. I am sure there would have been many days this summer that we would have spent time together. Last summer I spent a month in Canada with my boyfriend at the time, and I had the best time.
He was a day trader and he would wake up by 6am trade until 3pm and we were out and about the remainder of the day. During his working hours I woke up around 7:45. I threw clothes on, and walked to get us Americanos at our favorite coffee place. I came back had toast, got dresses and off to yoga I went. Came back made lunch, and we drove around, or went on hikes, did a pub crawl on petal bikes, and then made dinner. It was one of the best summers I have ever had. As a matter of fact I want a repeat!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
He loves me he loves me not.
He loves me he loves me not.
I feel like picking a flower and pulling the petals one by one to decide to start dating or not. The last five months have been a whirlwind that started with a bachelorette party, then a wedding, followed by a very close family member having to stay in the hospital for a month. After she was sent home I needed to find a new place for her to stay, probably for the remainder of her life. Once I did find a new home, as a family we moved her, and from March to July I would say I did not even think about myself. Nor worry about anything but what was happening in my immediate circle.
Last weekend a few friends asked me why I was not dating, so I explained the past five months, and they understood. I believe when you are already in a relationship and going through tough experiences its ok to expect your partner to be extremely emotionally supportive. However, in the past I learned that I cannot expect any new man I am dating to be there for me during a stressful event, and even more so if he doesn’t have an established relationship with me. I did this once before, the guy just thought I was too needy, and he was right.
It was not his responsibility to take care of me if he hardly knew me. In my defense I was young, but learned that lesson fast. Since things were all over the place in my life and I was busy with family, and friends how would I have the time for another person? I would not. It is that simple. I also enjoy my life. I have good friends, a strong yoga practice, and I have a lot of fun in general. I also have a weird feeling about my future, and this weird subconscious voice in my head saying enjoy it while you can.
I have a feeling I am not going to be single for too much longer, and for some reason I feel like this may be the last summer I spend solo, so I want to make the most of it. I also think I am going to be really busy soon, well busier than I am now, and I am already rather active. This being said the last thing I want to do is go on a dating website, or have to make too much effort for something that should just happen organically.
I have never met a normal person from online dating. They all seem to pick me by my picture and pretend that we have anything in common. 90% of the time I do not have anything really important in common with any one I have met on line. I am even one of the people that read profiles, and let me tell you something golfing once a week will never make you physically fit, outdoorsy, or physically active. I don’t consider golf a sport. Sports are soccer, baseball, hockey, football, dancing etc. Outdoorsy is hiking, biking, skiing, and last but not least physically fit would be understood better if this rule applied. If you are standing up, and look down to your foot if you cannot see your whole foot, because your stomach is in the way then you are not physically fit.
A little beer belly is fine, but if you have a beer belly you are not physically fit, and if you don’t go to the gym 3-5 times a week I am not going to have a whole lot in common with you. Being healthy and fit is a life choice. I really like exercising, eating and repeating. People who drink and exercise are generally in good shape, but drinking too much in your 30’s makes you fat. We no longer have the metabolism that we had in our 20’s. So I think about all of this, and know I should get back out there, but I am not really sure how.
I feel like picking a flower and pulling the petals one by one to decide to start dating or not. The last five months have been a whirlwind that started with a bachelorette party, then a wedding, followed by a very close family member having to stay in the hospital for a month. After she was sent home I needed to find a new place for her to stay, probably for the remainder of her life. Once I did find a new home, as a family we moved her, and from March to July I would say I did not even think about myself. Nor worry about anything but what was happening in my immediate circle.
Last weekend a few friends asked me why I was not dating, so I explained the past five months, and they understood. I believe when you are already in a relationship and going through tough experiences its ok to expect your partner to be extremely emotionally supportive. However, in the past I learned that I cannot expect any new man I am dating to be there for me during a stressful event, and even more so if he doesn’t have an established relationship with me. I did this once before, the guy just thought I was too needy, and he was right.
It was not his responsibility to take care of me if he hardly knew me. In my defense I was young, but learned that lesson fast. Since things were all over the place in my life and I was busy with family, and friends how would I have the time for another person? I would not. It is that simple. I also enjoy my life. I have good friends, a strong yoga practice, and I have a lot of fun in general. I also have a weird feeling about my future, and this weird subconscious voice in my head saying enjoy it while you can.
I have a feeling I am not going to be single for too much longer, and for some reason I feel like this may be the last summer I spend solo, so I want to make the most of it. I also think I am going to be really busy soon, well busier than I am now, and I am already rather active. This being said the last thing I want to do is go on a dating website, or have to make too much effort for something that should just happen organically.
I have never met a normal person from online dating. They all seem to pick me by my picture and pretend that we have anything in common. 90% of the time I do not have anything really important in common with any one I have met on line. I am even one of the people that read profiles, and let me tell you something golfing once a week will never make you physically fit, outdoorsy, or physically active. I don’t consider golf a sport. Sports are soccer, baseball, hockey, football, dancing etc. Outdoorsy is hiking, biking, skiing, and last but not least physically fit would be understood better if this rule applied. If you are standing up, and look down to your foot if you cannot see your whole foot, because your stomach is in the way then you are not physically fit.
A little beer belly is fine, but if you have a beer belly you are not physically fit, and if you don’t go to the gym 3-5 times a week I am not going to have a whole lot in common with you. Being healthy and fit is a life choice. I really like exercising, eating and repeating. People who drink and exercise are generally in good shape, but drinking too much in your 30’s makes you fat. We no longer have the metabolism that we had in our 20’s. So I think about all of this, and know I should get back out there, but I am not really sure how.
12 days strong and long.
12 days strong and long.
I hit a wall today, or I should say my leg muscles hit a wall today. I had a massage last night after my yoga class, and when I woke up I almost wished I did not have that amazing massage. The massage was wonderful, and I thought if I was going to be sore it would be from the deep tissue work on my shoulders, but I was very wrong. My shoulders do not hurt at all, but my legs are not so happy today. My calf, thighs, and tushey muscled really hurt.
They were fine before twelve days straight of yoga plus a massage. I maybe should have waited until my thirty day challenge is over. Well the damage is done, or undone I will find out tomorrow. My goal today is just to have a home practice, and spend at least 10 minutes meditating. If I make it to thirty days of solid yoga I may tack on another 30 days just to see if I can do it. I will rest a day or so after that. In general I have been feeling really strong. Not in just a physical way, but mentally as well. I am very clearheaded and even keeled. It feels good.
I hit a wall today, or I should say my leg muscles hit a wall today. I had a massage last night after my yoga class, and when I woke up I almost wished I did not have that amazing massage. The massage was wonderful, and I thought if I was going to be sore it would be from the deep tissue work on my shoulders, but I was very wrong. My shoulders do not hurt at all, but my legs are not so happy today. My calf, thighs, and tushey muscled really hurt.
They were fine before twelve days straight of yoga plus a massage. I maybe should have waited until my thirty day challenge is over. Well the damage is done, or undone I will find out tomorrow. My goal today is just to have a home practice, and spend at least 10 minutes meditating. If I make it to thirty days of solid yoga I may tack on another 30 days just to see if I can do it. I will rest a day or so after that. In general I have been feeling really strong. Not in just a physical way, but mentally as well. I am very clearheaded and even keeled. It feels good.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sorry I did not go to the Harvard of yoga schools…..
Extortion: the crime of obtaining something such as money or information by force, threats, or other unacceptable methods.
The hypocrisy of American yoga is simple corporations that make yoga studio chains do not practice what yoga teaches, smaller studios do a better job, but seriously you have got to be kidding me! In the yoga 10 commandments there is a word for not steeling. It is also an important part of the practice itself. Some larger corporations don’t follow this basic principle.
The yoga alliance has been involved in an outline of what yoga certifications must entail. Before the alliance stepped in you did not need a certification to teach yoga. The hours you spend in a 200 hour program are broken down into amounts of time you study philosophy, breath, anatomy, postures and other miscellaneous facts about the practice of yoga. We learn a lot, and every program is now required to teach the same thing in a 200 hour breakdown.
So why are certain corporations insisting that you take their 200 hour certification to get a job with their corporation? I believe this is called extortion. If I went to law school at UCLA, passed the bar on the first try, and interviewed at any corporation X I would not be told that since I did not go to Harvard that my application did not count. Then would be told to go to Harvard and come back, and then I would be given a fair chance at a position in their company, but no guarantee was going to be granted. I seriously doubt that would happen. I believe that is illegal to begin with. So why are corporate studios being allowed to discriminate?
I am speaking about a large chain that just opened in Westwood and Sherman Oaks. There are currently only two of these studios in the Los Angeles area. I asked to interview and the manager told me I would have to take a 200 hour training with their yoga school to be interviewed. She also said that they do not hire outside of their training program. Again all the 200 hour certification programs are broken down in the same way. The Sherman oaks location just opened maybe a year ago, and the Westwood location opened within the last three months. So how would it be possible to staff both locations with Core Power yoga certified teachers only?
Unless the Sherman Oaks location did provide teacher trainings, and the corporation hired everyone that graduated their program within the year to run both Westwood, and Sherman Oaks locations would make it possible to have the businesses up and running. However, who was responsible for opening the first location? Did Core Power move recent graduates to Los Angeles to open the first studio? Yes, it’s possible, but I am not going to buy that malarkey. I believe they are trying to hard sell their 200 hour program to people, and I find that to be extortion.
Extortion: the crime of obtaining something such as money or information by force, threats, or other unacceptable methods.
The hypocrisy of American yoga is simple corporations that make yoga studio chains do not practice what yoga teaches, smaller studios do a better job, but seriously you have got to be kidding me! In the yoga 10 commandments there is a word for not steeling. It is also an important part of the practice itself. Some larger corporations don’t follow this basic principle.
The yoga alliance has been involved in an outline of what yoga certifications must entail. Before the alliance stepped in you did not need a certification to teach yoga. The hours you spend in a 200 hour program are broken down into amounts of time you study philosophy, breath, anatomy, postures and other miscellaneous facts about the practice of yoga. We learn a lot, and every program is now required to teach the same thing in a 200 hour breakdown.
So why are certain corporations insisting that you take their 200 hour certification to get a job with their corporation? I believe this is called extortion. If I went to law school at UCLA, passed the bar on the first try, and interviewed at any corporation X I would not be told that since I did not go to Harvard that my application did not count. Then would be told to go to Harvard and come back, and then I would be given a fair chance at a position in their company, but no guarantee was going to be granted. I seriously doubt that would happen. I believe that is illegal to begin with. So why are corporate studios being allowed to discriminate?
I am speaking about a large chain that just opened in Westwood and Sherman Oaks. There are currently only two of these studios in the Los Angeles area. I asked to interview and the manager told me I would have to take a 200 hour training with their yoga school to be interviewed. She also said that they do not hire outside of their training program. Again all the 200 hour certification programs are broken down in the same way. The Sherman oaks location just opened maybe a year ago, and the Westwood location opened within the last three months. So how would it be possible to staff both locations with Core Power yoga certified teachers only?
Unless the Sherman Oaks location did provide teacher trainings, and the corporation hired everyone that graduated their program within the year to run both Westwood, and Sherman Oaks locations would make it possible to have the businesses up and running. However, who was responsible for opening the first location? Did Core Power move recent graduates to Los Angeles to open the first studio? Yes, it’s possible, but I am not going to buy that malarkey. I believe they are trying to hard sell their 200 hour program to people, and I find that to be extortion.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
On the fourth day of yoga my DADDY came with me!
On the fourth day of yoga my DADDY came with me!
For years I have been trying to talk my father into a yoga class, and somehow I did it last week. I now consider myself a mastermind, and it only took me eight years to get there. Amazing I know, but that is the way the cookie crumbles. However, the joke was on me. My father had a really hard time in the restorative class we took, and the teacher must have thought we were all nutz.
I had no idea that my father was so stiff he could not sit in sukasana. He also broke a sweat in the restorative class we took last Sunday. The postures were so hard for him to get into my mom and I kept giggling. I know that was bad form, but the teacher told me I was not allowed to help my father, so out of frustration and sheer terror I kept giggling. Nothing he did made him comfortable. For an hour restorative class my father was in discomfort and there was nothing I could do to help him.
The teacher asked my dad what was going on with him, and if he had any diseases, so he gave her his laundry list of things wrong, diabetes, heart disease, and a million other things. It turns out he never lays on his back, and he has extremely poor circulation. He was in postures pregnant women get into in restorative classes, and then I really could not stop laughing.
The teacher actually came over to my mom, and I and asked up to please stop. To put it mildly the teacher was not so great. She gave me an adjustment that made me fall over because she did not notice how my bones were stacked. Everyone is different, and because I was a dancer and a gymnast my body formed differently. I know I am in the majority of yoga postures correctly, because of my training, and I can feel it in my body. There are some inversions, and arm balances that I have a hard time with still. When a teacher adjusts me to become off balance I know it’s not me.
Once she did that I was very concerned about my father so I kept a watchful eye on him. She was fine with him, and even helpful getting him into alternate postures through the whole class. I was grateful she was very careful with him. He was sweating, and looking at me to see if he was in poses correctly, and generally concerned that it was so hard for him to get into any pose. I don’t know if I will ever get him to another class, but he did really feel different after the class was over.
My father felt his muscles opening up, and could feel his circulation was better. For the first time in months he admitted he felt better after that class. I am worried about how stiff my father is, and how bad his circulation is. It is not good for anyone to feel like that.
For years I have been trying to talk my father into a yoga class, and somehow I did it last week. I now consider myself a mastermind, and it only took me eight years to get there. Amazing I know, but that is the way the cookie crumbles. However, the joke was on me. My father had a really hard time in the restorative class we took, and the teacher must have thought we were all nutz.
I had no idea that my father was so stiff he could not sit in sukasana. He also broke a sweat in the restorative class we took last Sunday. The postures were so hard for him to get into my mom and I kept giggling. I know that was bad form, but the teacher told me I was not allowed to help my father, so out of frustration and sheer terror I kept giggling. Nothing he did made him comfortable. For an hour restorative class my father was in discomfort and there was nothing I could do to help him.
The teacher asked my dad what was going on with him, and if he had any diseases, so he gave her his laundry list of things wrong, diabetes, heart disease, and a million other things. It turns out he never lays on his back, and he has extremely poor circulation. He was in postures pregnant women get into in restorative classes, and then I really could not stop laughing.
The teacher actually came over to my mom, and I and asked up to please stop. To put it mildly the teacher was not so great. She gave me an adjustment that made me fall over because she did not notice how my bones were stacked. Everyone is different, and because I was a dancer and a gymnast my body formed differently. I know I am in the majority of yoga postures correctly, because of my training, and I can feel it in my body. There are some inversions, and arm balances that I have a hard time with still. When a teacher adjusts me to become off balance I know it’s not me.
Once she did that I was very concerned about my father so I kept a watchful eye on him. She was fine with him, and even helpful getting him into alternate postures through the whole class. I was grateful she was very careful with him. He was sweating, and looking at me to see if he was in poses correctly, and generally concerned that it was so hard for him to get into any pose. I don’t know if I will ever get him to another class, but he did really feel different after the class was over.
My father felt his muscles opening up, and could feel his circulation was better. For the first time in months he admitted he felt better after that class. I am worried about how stiff my father is, and how bad his circulation is. It is not good for anyone to feel like that.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
You say it’s your birthday…..It’s my birthday to yeah!
You say it’s your birthday…..It’s my birthday to yeah!
For those who don’t know my Mother and I were born on the same day, twenty eight years apart, but on the same day. This year I had to cancel two different parties I had been planning, so I just thought this birthday was going to be lame in general. I did not have any interest in going out for drinks by the time my b-day came around. That is how little significance I placed on my special day.
I was also really sick. I came down with this flu/cold thing that took me out for a week. This never happens to me. If I get sick it is usually for twenty four hours max. Leading up to my birthday I was just hoping to feel better. I almost cancelled my hair appointment for that day. I am glad I did not.
In the morning I got ready, and drove into Beverly Hills with my mom. For whatever reason the traffic was just out of control it took us almost an hour to get there. Normally it would have taken thirty minutes max at that time of day. We were both so hungry and originally planned on heading to Nate N’ All’s, but the idea of finding parking seemed too annoying to deal with. I was told to just pick a place for breakfast, so I did.
We went to my personal favorite Barneys Green Grass. I got my salmon, onion, and eggs scramble with a bagel. YUMMMM! It has been so long since I have eaten there I felt as if I was home. It was perfect. After lunch we wandered through Barneys, and I remembered how much I love to shop there. Since I am a full time student it’s just not appropriate right now. I choose to spend my cash on dinners out, and less expensive clothing. I did get a rush looking at my favorite designers, and unfortunately cannot wait until I can spend my money on expensive shoes and bags.
Nothing really affordable caught my eye, and we went to Anthropology for a shopping extravaganza. I saw really cute tops on line, and wanted a few new things for my B-day, so I tried on everything I liked that I saw on line. However, nothing looked right. I ended up with things I was not expecting to love, but did, two dresses, two tops, and a tee shirt. It was my gift from my parents. My mom also wanted to get me a Brazilian blow out.
We finished up at Anthropology, and headed to the Lea Journo Salon in the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel. I had never been before, but my mom has been going there for a year. I now know why. They massage your head as they shampoo your hair, and play fashion shows on the flat screen television while styling your locks. For two hours Angelique preformed her magic on my hair, and I love the way it came out. Now when I shower and wash my hair I don’t have to blow it dry, and it comes out perfect every time. The Jew frow has been tamed!
Once my hair was finished my mom and I left the salon, and headed home to get ready for dinner. I wore one of my new dresses, and my family and I went to pick up my grandfather. We arrived at Buchon in the Montage about twenty minutes early, so we ordered drinks at the bar. I had no expectations for the meal, but in short it blew me away. The food was amazing all around, and I thought it was reasonable for dinner. It is a bit on the expensive side, but not as bad at Morton’s.
For dessert I opened my B-day gift from my brother and my grandfather. My brother got me a Tiffany’s necklace with an S in sterling, and my gramps gave me an outfit that I picked out. All in all I really had a wonderful day. When I came home I checked my Facebook page and saw like 100,000,000 people wished me a happy birthday. Friends from High School, new friends, childhood friends, it was truly amazing, and I was very touched. It turned out to be one of the best birthdays I ever had.
For those who don’t know my Mother and I were born on the same day, twenty eight years apart, but on the same day. This year I had to cancel two different parties I had been planning, so I just thought this birthday was going to be lame in general. I did not have any interest in going out for drinks by the time my b-day came around. That is how little significance I placed on my special day.
I was also really sick. I came down with this flu/cold thing that took me out for a week. This never happens to me. If I get sick it is usually for twenty four hours max. Leading up to my birthday I was just hoping to feel better. I almost cancelled my hair appointment for that day. I am glad I did not.
In the morning I got ready, and drove into Beverly Hills with my mom. For whatever reason the traffic was just out of control it took us almost an hour to get there. Normally it would have taken thirty minutes max at that time of day. We were both so hungry and originally planned on heading to Nate N’ All’s, but the idea of finding parking seemed too annoying to deal with. I was told to just pick a place for breakfast, so I did.
We went to my personal favorite Barneys Green Grass. I got my salmon, onion, and eggs scramble with a bagel. YUMMMM! It has been so long since I have eaten there I felt as if I was home. It was perfect. After lunch we wandered through Barneys, and I remembered how much I love to shop there. Since I am a full time student it’s just not appropriate right now. I choose to spend my cash on dinners out, and less expensive clothing. I did get a rush looking at my favorite designers, and unfortunately cannot wait until I can spend my money on expensive shoes and bags.
Nothing really affordable caught my eye, and we went to Anthropology for a shopping extravaganza. I saw really cute tops on line, and wanted a few new things for my B-day, so I tried on everything I liked that I saw on line. However, nothing looked right. I ended up with things I was not expecting to love, but did, two dresses, two tops, and a tee shirt. It was my gift from my parents. My mom also wanted to get me a Brazilian blow out.
We finished up at Anthropology, and headed to the Lea Journo Salon in the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel. I had never been before, but my mom has been going there for a year. I now know why. They massage your head as they shampoo your hair, and play fashion shows on the flat screen television while styling your locks. For two hours Angelique preformed her magic on my hair, and I love the way it came out. Now when I shower and wash my hair I don’t have to blow it dry, and it comes out perfect every time. The Jew frow has been tamed!
Once my hair was finished my mom and I left the salon, and headed home to get ready for dinner. I wore one of my new dresses, and my family and I went to pick up my grandfather. We arrived at Buchon in the Montage about twenty minutes early, so we ordered drinks at the bar. I had no expectations for the meal, but in short it blew me away. The food was amazing all around, and I thought it was reasonable for dinner. It is a bit on the expensive side, but not as bad at Morton’s.
For dessert I opened my B-day gift from my brother and my grandfather. My brother got me a Tiffany’s necklace with an S in sterling, and my gramps gave me an outfit that I picked out. All in all I really had a wonderful day. When I came home I checked my Facebook page and saw like 100,000,000 people wished me a happy birthday. Friends from High School, new friends, childhood friends, it was truly amazing, and I was very touched. It turned out to be one of the best birthdays I ever had.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
The self inflicted 30 day challenge.
The self inflicted 30 day challenge.
I am going to do one yoga class a day for thirty days. I have never attempted this before, but I have nothing better to do. I came up with this idea yesterday, and for the life of me cannot understand why I did not think of it earlier. I am like any other person. I like to challenge myself, and push the envelope when it comes to my life in general, so it should not surprise me that I do so in my yoga practice as well.
Yesterday I took a class that was not particularly challenging. It was just the only time I could make it to a class. I started to complain in my own head about the class level, and my expectations that were not being met when all of a sudden it hit me. It did not matter that this class was a bit less intense than what I wanted, because if I did classes like this in between my regular flow classes I could probably get in thirty days of yoga, and to be specific a consecutive thirty days.
I was so inspired by my thought process that I have now decided to give myself the challenge. I will go to restorative classes, level one classes, Iyengar classes, and get my grove on in my favorite flow classes. Rising Lotus Yoga always has a 30 day challenge, and I always shied away from participating, because I did not think I could handle it. Yeah, I couldn’t if I did a level 2/3 or 3 class every day. I would be in major pain, so why did I never connect it in my mind that any yoga is good yoga?
Now that my head is no longer in my sphincter I believe I can do it. I am on day three and only have 27 more classes/days to go. I really have nothing better to do. It is summer, way too hot, and I have no responsibility or friends to hang out with. Not that I don’t have any friends, I have many friends, but they all have jobs. YUCK! I am making this my goal for July. You know it is the little things that keep me going.
Off to YOGA I go!
I am going to do one yoga class a day for thirty days. I have never attempted this before, but I have nothing better to do. I came up with this idea yesterday, and for the life of me cannot understand why I did not think of it earlier. I am like any other person. I like to challenge myself, and push the envelope when it comes to my life in general, so it should not surprise me that I do so in my yoga practice as well.
Yesterday I took a class that was not particularly challenging. It was just the only time I could make it to a class. I started to complain in my own head about the class level, and my expectations that were not being met when all of a sudden it hit me. It did not matter that this class was a bit less intense than what I wanted, because if I did classes like this in between my regular flow classes I could probably get in thirty days of yoga, and to be specific a consecutive thirty days.
I was so inspired by my thought process that I have now decided to give myself the challenge. I will go to restorative classes, level one classes, Iyengar classes, and get my grove on in my favorite flow classes. Rising Lotus Yoga always has a 30 day challenge, and I always shied away from participating, because I did not think I could handle it. Yeah, I couldn’t if I did a level 2/3 or 3 class every day. I would be in major pain, so why did I never connect it in my mind that any yoga is good yoga?
Now that my head is no longer in my sphincter I believe I can do it. I am on day three and only have 27 more classes/days to go. I really have nothing better to do. It is summer, way too hot, and I have no responsibility or friends to hang out with. Not that I don’t have any friends, I have many friends, but they all have jobs. YUCK! I am making this my goal for July. You know it is the little things that keep me going.
Off to YOGA I go!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Magic Castle and then Some!
Magic Castle and then Some!
It has been years since I have gone to dinner at the Magic Castle, I loved it then, and love it now. Last night a group of friends and I went to drink and be entertained. I really like to watch magic shows, but I know I am the annoying audience member that tries really hard to figure out how to do the tricks, or if too drunk heckle the magician. Last night I was just the annoying audience member, but I think if another magician was in the audience they would be the more annoying audience member.
Lucky for me one person in our group was an actual magician, so I got a different perspective on the shows. Let’s call my fiend Single Magician Lost in LA ( SMLL). SMLL was our host for the evening; he gave us an insider’s tour of the castle, and took us to every show. I personally liked the main show the best, and to be more specific Joel Ward who did a 30 min presentation. It included Doves, Fire, Levitation, and good music.
I do not know how he did any of his illusions, but he did do one of the Houdini Illusions that I saw at Skirball last week. It was kinda cool that I went to the exhibit at Skirball, and then got to see a legendary illusion preformed. However, I was sitting next to SMLL and glanced over at him a few times to see how he responded to the show. I was wondering what he thought of the performance, because he knew how all the illusions were preformed. At one point in Joel Ward turned a blue scarf into a blue dove, and a whit scarf into a white dove. The best part of the trick was the fact the scarves were tied in a knot and the birds appeared simultaneously. Visually it was really cool to watch. I would not want to see it at a dinner party, but on stage it was great.
After the main show we went into the Close-up Gallery and saw a young performer. His tricks were well executed. After the short intimate show we walked into W.C. Fields Bar and the Inner Circle. I had never been in this room before, and there was a lot to look at. There were old artifacts on display, and there is a library for members only down there. We all talked about the shows, and SMLL gave us his opinion about the quality of magic preformed. I thought our opinions would have been different, but we all felt the same way about the shows. Somehow during the conversation SMLL was talked into performing some magic in the inner circle for all of us.
SMLL showed us some illusions he used to perform, and by far they were amazing, and some of the best that night. I am not saying any of that because SMLL is a friend, but simply because it’s true. For an hour he wowed us with his illusions, and even showed us some of his own intellectual property. Illusions he had designed, and ones only he preformed. They consisted of card tricks, and coins tricks. I begged him to pull a coin out of my ear, and it paid off thirty minutes later only when he could no longer stand my asking. Yes, my excessive whining about the lack of pulling something out of my ear paid off. It was the highlight of my night.
I knew SMLL was a magician, but I had no idea that he had practiced magic at the Castle, and had even preformed there. He did start to tell us how long each trick takes to learn, and how some illusions took years to master. Obviously SMLL is patient, and willing to perfect his craft. At about midnight or close to it we left the castle, and went our separate ways. I was in bed by 12:30 and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It was a great night and I loved every second.
It has been years since I have gone to dinner at the Magic Castle, I loved it then, and love it now. Last night a group of friends and I went to drink and be entertained. I really like to watch magic shows, but I know I am the annoying audience member that tries really hard to figure out how to do the tricks, or if too drunk heckle the magician. Last night I was just the annoying audience member, but I think if another magician was in the audience they would be the more annoying audience member.
Lucky for me one person in our group was an actual magician, so I got a different perspective on the shows. Let’s call my fiend Single Magician Lost in LA ( SMLL). SMLL was our host for the evening; he gave us an insider’s tour of the castle, and took us to every show. I personally liked the main show the best, and to be more specific Joel Ward who did a 30 min presentation. It included Doves, Fire, Levitation, and good music.
I do not know how he did any of his illusions, but he did do one of the Houdini Illusions that I saw at Skirball last week. It was kinda cool that I went to the exhibit at Skirball, and then got to see a legendary illusion preformed. However, I was sitting next to SMLL and glanced over at him a few times to see how he responded to the show. I was wondering what he thought of the performance, because he knew how all the illusions were preformed. At one point in Joel Ward turned a blue scarf into a blue dove, and a whit scarf into a white dove. The best part of the trick was the fact the scarves were tied in a knot and the birds appeared simultaneously. Visually it was really cool to watch. I would not want to see it at a dinner party, but on stage it was great.
After the main show we went into the Close-up Gallery and saw a young performer. His tricks were well executed. After the short intimate show we walked into W.C. Fields Bar and the Inner Circle. I had never been in this room before, and there was a lot to look at. There were old artifacts on display, and there is a library for members only down there. We all talked about the shows, and SMLL gave us his opinion about the quality of magic preformed. I thought our opinions would have been different, but we all felt the same way about the shows. Somehow during the conversation SMLL was talked into performing some magic in the inner circle for all of us.
SMLL showed us some illusions he used to perform, and by far they were amazing, and some of the best that night. I am not saying any of that because SMLL is a friend, but simply because it’s true. For an hour he wowed us with his illusions, and even showed us some of his own intellectual property. Illusions he had designed, and ones only he preformed. They consisted of card tricks, and coins tricks. I begged him to pull a coin out of my ear, and it paid off thirty minutes later only when he could no longer stand my asking. Yes, my excessive whining about the lack of pulling something out of my ear paid off. It was the highlight of my night.
I knew SMLL was a magician, but I had no idea that he had practiced magic at the Castle, and had even preformed there. He did start to tell us how long each trick takes to learn, and how some illusions took years to master. Obviously SMLL is patient, and willing to perfect his craft. At about midnight or close to it we left the castle, and went our separate ways. I was in bed by 12:30 and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It was a great night and I loved every second.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Sick and sick of it…
Sick and sick of it…
Four days ago I woke up with a horrible sore throat. I sent my father to Whole Foods Market to get me my trusted Umcka, however; I thought it was called Umchaka a few months back. I tried it once, and went back for more, but when I asked for Umchaka the lady in the vitamin section started to laugh at me. I really had no idea why she was giggling until she showed me the package. The joke was on me!
I had no interest in making my father go through the same public embarrassment, so I told him the correct name and spelling of the product. I like this stuff it makes any cold or flu shorter. Yesterday, I came home sneezing up a storm and was filled with snot. This made my voice sound really weird, and my father asked me, “When did you get sick?”
Really? How he had no idea I was sick is beyond me. He went to the market four days prior to get me cold medication. I was beyond annoyed at his reaction to my sneezing and blowing of my nose symphony. My favorite part of my sneezing attack is when I cannot get enough air into my lungs, and I do the double inhale Huuu Huuu, and then sneeze with such force that I feel as if I am falling backwards. This went on for hours yesterday, and I got a head ach from all my sneezing.
I figured I would be fine after I went to bed, but I am not. I was supposed to go to a charity event today that I have been looking forward to for a while, but I feel I am contagious. This event was a yoga extravaganza, and many of my favorite teachers are teaching there today. There is going to be live music, a raffle, and food. I was planning on attending this shindig as a kick off celebration for my up and coming B-Day week instead I have laid on my couch and watched the Joy Luck Club.
The past month I had my yearly check up and had to get my adult vaccinations. The vaccinations made me sick for two weeks, and now I have a cold. I must say I am really sick of feeling nauseous, and sick. The last month I have only felt well for a day or so, and it sucks. I better be feeling well for my birthday next week. My family always has a nice dinner out, and I want to enjoy the food. Right now I all I can taste is either salt or sugar.
Four days ago I woke up with a horrible sore throat. I sent my father to Whole Foods Market to get me my trusted Umcka, however; I thought it was called Umchaka a few months back. I tried it once, and went back for more, but when I asked for Umchaka the lady in the vitamin section started to laugh at me. I really had no idea why she was giggling until she showed me the package. The joke was on me!
I had no interest in making my father go through the same public embarrassment, so I told him the correct name and spelling of the product. I like this stuff it makes any cold or flu shorter. Yesterday, I came home sneezing up a storm and was filled with snot. This made my voice sound really weird, and my father asked me, “When did you get sick?”
Really? How he had no idea I was sick is beyond me. He went to the market four days prior to get me cold medication. I was beyond annoyed at his reaction to my sneezing and blowing of my nose symphony. My favorite part of my sneezing attack is when I cannot get enough air into my lungs, and I do the double inhale Huuu Huuu, and then sneeze with such force that I feel as if I am falling backwards. This went on for hours yesterday, and I got a head ach from all my sneezing.
I figured I would be fine after I went to bed, but I am not. I was supposed to go to a charity event today that I have been looking forward to for a while, but I feel I am contagious. This event was a yoga extravaganza, and many of my favorite teachers are teaching there today. There is going to be live music, a raffle, and food. I was planning on attending this shindig as a kick off celebration for my up and coming B-Day week instead I have laid on my couch and watched the Joy Luck Club.
The past month I had my yearly check up and had to get my adult vaccinations. The vaccinations made me sick for two weeks, and now I have a cold. I must say I am really sick of feeling nauseous, and sick. The last month I have only felt well for a day or so, and it sucks. I better be feeling well for my birthday next week. My family always has a nice dinner out, and I want to enjoy the food. Right now I all I can taste is either salt or sugar.
Are we just a bunch of LUSHES?
Are we just a bunch of LUSHES?
When I go out with friends or even when I attend parties people seem to place a lot of emphasis on drinking. Now I am not a big drinker I would say without a doubt I could go without alcohol in general. I no longer metabolize it well, but regardless I never placed all that much emphasis on drinking. Yes, I do like the occasional martini or vodka soda, but if I never had another drink it would make no difference to me.
Yes, this point of view is abnormal to my generation. I go to more bars in my thirties than I ever did in my twenties. Not to mention I have recently learned to play more drinking games than I ever knew in my twenties. Most of my friends drink five nights a week. Considering that is normal in my circle of friends I will assume this behavior is normal for my age group in general. When I am out to lunch or dinner, and not interested in having a cocktail my friends make comments. A few examples of my favorite comments:
1) Well if you’re not drinking neither will I.
2) Fine make me drink alone then.
3) Are you sure you don’t want anything?
4) You are so boring. Why don’t you want to have a good time?
I enjoy my friends, and have a good time with them even when I am not drinking, or getting drunk. So why is it such a problem that I don’t drink? I accept them for who they are, and never call them alcoholics, or complain they are drinking too much. Unless they are too drunk, and annoying me then I will pipe up. Am I supposed to do something I don’t like to make someone else feel better?
As Whitney said, “ Hell to the no Bobby! Hell to the Mother FU..ing No .” I don’t even feel good the day after I drink, so why would I waste a day in bed when I can go out and appreciate the day? That’s what I am talking about. I like to be social when I can, and enjoy meeting friends out, but hate to be questioned every time I go out about why I’m not drinking. I am not in AA, I am not weird, I just don’t like to drink all that much.
I’ll go to happy hours, but I order food, and maybe I will have a cocktail, but mostly club soda. I still enjoy my time out without any added substance enhancement. What really bothers me is that this position is abnormal, and I think I am in the twilight zone all the time. I don’t understand why social interaction is so heavily mixed with alcohol. I understand liquid courage, but I will never rely on it.
When I go out with friends or even when I attend parties people seem to place a lot of emphasis on drinking. Now I am not a big drinker I would say without a doubt I could go without alcohol in general. I no longer metabolize it well, but regardless I never placed all that much emphasis on drinking. Yes, I do like the occasional martini or vodka soda, but if I never had another drink it would make no difference to me.
Yes, this point of view is abnormal to my generation. I go to more bars in my thirties than I ever did in my twenties. Not to mention I have recently learned to play more drinking games than I ever knew in my twenties. Most of my friends drink five nights a week. Considering that is normal in my circle of friends I will assume this behavior is normal for my age group in general. When I am out to lunch or dinner, and not interested in having a cocktail my friends make comments. A few examples of my favorite comments:
1) Well if you’re not drinking neither will I.
2) Fine make me drink alone then.
3) Are you sure you don’t want anything?
4) You are so boring. Why don’t you want to have a good time?
I enjoy my friends, and have a good time with them even when I am not drinking, or getting drunk. So why is it such a problem that I don’t drink? I accept them for who they are, and never call them alcoholics, or complain they are drinking too much. Unless they are too drunk, and annoying me then I will pipe up. Am I supposed to do something I don’t like to make someone else feel better?
As Whitney said, “ Hell to the no Bobby! Hell to the Mother FU..ing No .” I don’t even feel good the day after I drink, so why would I waste a day in bed when I can go out and appreciate the day? That’s what I am talking about. I like to be social when I can, and enjoy meeting friends out, but hate to be questioned every time I go out about why I’m not drinking. I am not in AA, I am not weird, I just don’t like to drink all that much.
I’ll go to happy hours, but I order food, and maybe I will have a cocktail, but mostly club soda. I still enjoy my time out without any added substance enhancement. What really bothers me is that this position is abnormal, and I think I am in the twilight zone all the time. I don’t understand why social interaction is so heavily mixed with alcohol. I understand liquid courage, but I will never rely on it.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
This is to you forty something Dbag! Shut your mouth.
This is to you forty something Dbag! Shut your mouth.
Normally I would not talk this kinda shit on my blog, but I am going to make exception this one time. A friend of mine who I met through yoga teacher training was in a relationship with someone I now fully consider to be a Dbag. Granted there are always two sides to every story, and twp perspectives to any relationship. However, here is the story of how I met this guy, my opinion of him then, and now.
My friend set up a time for us all to go out and have dinner. Dbag brought a friend for me hoping to set me up with. Unfortunately that did not work out too well, because I found him to be odd. He kept showing me magic tricks, and asking me to tell him what I thought his worst qualities were. Then he asked how he should improve himself. This was a set up, not a therapy session. What concerned me deeply was the fact this weirdo was Dbags best friend. So I continued to shift the conversation more towards getting to know Dbag. At this point the evening took a turn, and weirdo was deeply offended I was not interested in him, so he became all huffy.
Dbag picked up on the upcoming temper tantrum and tried to smooth out the conversation. This did not work, and weirdo left the building. Dbag waited a beat, and then picked a fight with my friend/ his girlfriend at the time. He accused her of being an alcoholic and a flirt after she had one glass of wine. Their fight became worse he got up paid for dinner and left me and my friend/his girlfriend at the restaurant. I did have my car so we were not stranded, but still I found that behavior to be completely disrespectful. This is how he wanted to represent himself to his girlfriend’s good friend. I was sure from that point on that their relationship was doomed, but I kept it to myself. If I was here I would have dumped him right then and there.
She did not leave him, and they worked things out. For about a year more they stayed together. Last month she told me she and Dbag were having a lot of problems, and their fighting was becoming the accepted way of communicating. Yes, their relationship was on the rocks, and I did pipe up at this point. I told her when you are this age and in a relationship for almost two years you should be talking about marriage not screaming as each other to get your point across.
Three days ago I guess Dbag had enough of their problems and broke up with her. Yesterday she changed her Facebook status to single and he flipped out on her facebook page. Claiming she embarrassed him in public, insinuating that she already had a new boyfriend, and calling some of her friend’s obscene names. I saw his rant, and I told him to put a lid on it, and talk to her in private. He did not respond to me. However, Dbag is in his mid forties, and as far as I am concerned just pathetic! How dare he air out his dirty laundry on a public bulletin board. I was not totally surprised, but even more disgusted than I was when he left us at the restaurant.
Normally I would not talk this kinda shit on my blog, but I am going to make exception this one time. A friend of mine who I met through yoga teacher training was in a relationship with someone I now fully consider to be a Dbag. Granted there are always two sides to every story, and twp perspectives to any relationship. However, here is the story of how I met this guy, my opinion of him then, and now.
My friend set up a time for us all to go out and have dinner. Dbag brought a friend for me hoping to set me up with. Unfortunately that did not work out too well, because I found him to be odd. He kept showing me magic tricks, and asking me to tell him what I thought his worst qualities were. Then he asked how he should improve himself. This was a set up, not a therapy session. What concerned me deeply was the fact this weirdo was Dbags best friend. So I continued to shift the conversation more towards getting to know Dbag. At this point the evening took a turn, and weirdo was deeply offended I was not interested in him, so he became all huffy.
Dbag picked up on the upcoming temper tantrum and tried to smooth out the conversation. This did not work, and weirdo left the building. Dbag waited a beat, and then picked a fight with my friend/ his girlfriend at the time. He accused her of being an alcoholic and a flirt after she had one glass of wine. Their fight became worse he got up paid for dinner and left me and my friend/his girlfriend at the restaurant. I did have my car so we were not stranded, but still I found that behavior to be completely disrespectful. This is how he wanted to represent himself to his girlfriend’s good friend. I was sure from that point on that their relationship was doomed, but I kept it to myself. If I was here I would have dumped him right then and there.
She did not leave him, and they worked things out. For about a year more they stayed together. Last month she told me she and Dbag were having a lot of problems, and their fighting was becoming the accepted way of communicating. Yes, their relationship was on the rocks, and I did pipe up at this point. I told her when you are this age and in a relationship for almost two years you should be talking about marriage not screaming as each other to get your point across.
Three days ago I guess Dbag had enough of their problems and broke up with her. Yesterday she changed her Facebook status to single and he flipped out on her facebook page. Claiming she embarrassed him in public, insinuating that she already had a new boyfriend, and calling some of her friend’s obscene names. I saw his rant, and I told him to put a lid on it, and talk to her in private. He did not respond to me. However, Dbag is in his mid forties, and as far as I am concerned just pathetic! How dare he air out his dirty laundry on a public bulletin board. I was not totally surprised, but even more disgusted than I was when he left us at the restaurant.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Subs and stuff
Subs and stuff
I’ve been taking a lot of different teachers these last few weeks, and I must say I like yoga in general, but sometimes classes lack an edge, or structure I personally like to have in each class. There is one class I have really begun to like at yoga works Tarzana. It is Joe’s class. I guess his practice is similar to mine. There is a lot of movement in each class, and I like his sequencing. When I do practice at home I practice in a very specific way, and his class reminds me of my practice.
I also believe the teachers who taught him were similar to the teachers who taught me. My teachers teach a vinyasa style flow, but emphasize alignment, and different philosophies of yoga into their technique. I have adopted this style of teaching and added a twist. I teach a flow class with a 15-20 minute meditation practice. I add breath work because yoga gets your body into prime condition for prayer, or meditation, so bringing them together is important to me for my teaching. Yes, yoga is a type of moving meditation once your breath and movements are one, but that can take a person a while to learn. Joe’s class is a moving meditation and he warms up the students in such a wonderful way. I just love taking his class.
This past weekend he had a sub. She was a good teacher. Her instructions were clear, but for some reason the class only got half of her instructions. It was weird to be in that class on that specific day. It was father’s day and the class was much smaller than usual. There was also this guy who had no intensive training, but kept doing different postures than the class. He also moved faster than everyone as if he was trying to win a race. During our inversions he kept asking the teacher to look at him seeking praise. Most of his alignment was really off, and it became annoying that he was out in left field. He also smelled bad. I was really looking forward to Joe’s class, and when I realized there was a sub I was disappointed, and I think the show off in class broke my concentration so much that it became harder to follow the teacher.
Regardless yoga is good no matter what class you take. The sub taught different poses than what I was used to, and we did more hip openers and twists than I would have liked, but I was all sweaty when I left. Her teaching style was unlike mine. Her descriptions of the poses, and posture alignment were also dissimilar from what I was taught. She also used different pronunciations of postures to teach. It was awkward to be in a class that was so different than what I am used to.
I know she was a good teacher, because I never once became irritated about how she was instructing. I only noticed how unusual it was. The remainder of the summer I am planning on going to different areas of the city to take yoga classes from studios that have good reputations. I want to get different perspectives, and see some different techniques being taught.
I’ve been taking a lot of different teachers these last few weeks, and I must say I like yoga in general, but sometimes classes lack an edge, or structure I personally like to have in each class. There is one class I have really begun to like at yoga works Tarzana. It is Joe’s class. I guess his practice is similar to mine. There is a lot of movement in each class, and I like his sequencing. When I do practice at home I practice in a very specific way, and his class reminds me of my practice.
I also believe the teachers who taught him were similar to the teachers who taught me. My teachers teach a vinyasa style flow, but emphasize alignment, and different philosophies of yoga into their technique. I have adopted this style of teaching and added a twist. I teach a flow class with a 15-20 minute meditation practice. I add breath work because yoga gets your body into prime condition for prayer, or meditation, so bringing them together is important to me for my teaching. Yes, yoga is a type of moving meditation once your breath and movements are one, but that can take a person a while to learn. Joe’s class is a moving meditation and he warms up the students in such a wonderful way. I just love taking his class.
This past weekend he had a sub. She was a good teacher. Her instructions were clear, but for some reason the class only got half of her instructions. It was weird to be in that class on that specific day. It was father’s day and the class was much smaller than usual. There was also this guy who had no intensive training, but kept doing different postures than the class. He also moved faster than everyone as if he was trying to win a race. During our inversions he kept asking the teacher to look at him seeking praise. Most of his alignment was really off, and it became annoying that he was out in left field. He also smelled bad. I was really looking forward to Joe’s class, and when I realized there was a sub I was disappointed, and I think the show off in class broke my concentration so much that it became harder to follow the teacher.
Regardless yoga is good no matter what class you take. The sub taught different poses than what I was used to, and we did more hip openers and twists than I would have liked, but I was all sweaty when I left. Her teaching style was unlike mine. Her descriptions of the poses, and posture alignment were also dissimilar from what I was taught. She also used different pronunciations of postures to teach. It was awkward to be in a class that was so different than what I am used to.
I know she was a good teacher, because I never once became irritated about how she was instructing. I only noticed how unusual it was. The remainder of the summer I am planning on going to different areas of the city to take yoga classes from studios that have good reputations. I want to get different perspectives, and see some different techniques being taught.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Interacting or something like it
Interacting or something like it.
In an attempt to be social and place my heart wrenching six months on the shelf I went out. I was invited to a real-estate mixer even though I like to think of myself as a fulltime student and a part time yoga teacher. A friend of mine told me to register and it could be a way to meat men, get it meat! So I registered, and a group of us non-industry gals went to the mixer. I hoped it would be a room full of complete strangers who ask me a series of lame questions everyone asks me, and hopefully I would get to answer the same questions over and over again until I just start to tell people that I am really a porn star.
I am not a porn star, but when you say things like that you should see people’s expression it makes me laugh every time. I did not have to tell anyone my cover story fortunately the night was on the fun side. One of the friends with us told us about her most recent on line dating disaster, and one friend had so much liquid courage it was fascinating.
My friend Jen was in rare form that evening. To start Jen is an outgoing east coast woman. She is professional, funny, and flirty in a blunt package. Recently she met someone she likes so at a mixer she felt she had nothing to lose. Every ten seconds she was talking to a new man trying to help hook all of her friends up for the evening. It was amazing to see her in action.
One of her interactions lead to a conversation with a well rounded, cute, sexy guy that was looking for a relationship. Some of us got to talking and I was really impressed by him. Yes, I was impressed. He had no hang ups, he was mellow and truly engaged in conversation. He never once looked around the room for something better. The conversation progressed and it turned out we were all from Los Angeles, so I assumed we must have friends in common.
I was incorrect to assume that we would have friends in common this awesome guy turned out to be 10 years younger than me! I felt like I had insulted him by assuming he was thirty something, but I don’t think I did. I was a little shocked he was so young, but then again maybe I should start robbing the cradle. The conversation died down and he left with friends who were our age, but rather dull.
Many of the men at the mixer were mostly looking for an evening hook up, and I was generally unimpressed by the men that were in attendance. It was a mixer, but it had more of a meat market appeal. I did over hear a funny comment made by a forty something unattractive typical LA man-child. He walked past by a few groups of women, ours included, and mad a ridiculous comment.
He said my penis has recoiled into my body or something to that effect. I am assuming that he did not expect someone to hear him, and that he was making a general statement about the women at the event. However, there were a lot of hot chicks there, and most of them I would consider to have been out of his league looks wise. The ironic part of his statement was he was an out of shape middle aged man with an alright face. Maybe he was successful, but all in all nothing to write home about.
Given the dumb comment he made about the, “talent”, at the mixer I will assume he is not the sharpest tool in the shed either. His expectations of dating a playboy pinup are way beyond his reach. This was not a mixer for rock stars, but it was for real-estate. To be honest I would not have touched him with another girl’s vagina.
In an attempt to be social and place my heart wrenching six months on the shelf I went out. I was invited to a real-estate mixer even though I like to think of myself as a fulltime student and a part time yoga teacher. A friend of mine told me to register and it could be a way to meat men, get it meat! So I registered, and a group of us non-industry gals went to the mixer. I hoped it would be a room full of complete strangers who ask me a series of lame questions everyone asks me, and hopefully I would get to answer the same questions over and over again until I just start to tell people that I am really a porn star.
I am not a porn star, but when you say things like that you should see people’s expression it makes me laugh every time. I did not have to tell anyone my cover story fortunately the night was on the fun side. One of the friends with us told us about her most recent on line dating disaster, and one friend had so much liquid courage it was fascinating.
My friend Jen was in rare form that evening. To start Jen is an outgoing east coast woman. She is professional, funny, and flirty in a blunt package. Recently she met someone she likes so at a mixer she felt she had nothing to lose. Every ten seconds she was talking to a new man trying to help hook all of her friends up for the evening. It was amazing to see her in action.
One of her interactions lead to a conversation with a well rounded, cute, sexy guy that was looking for a relationship. Some of us got to talking and I was really impressed by him. Yes, I was impressed. He had no hang ups, he was mellow and truly engaged in conversation. He never once looked around the room for something better. The conversation progressed and it turned out we were all from Los Angeles, so I assumed we must have friends in common.
I was incorrect to assume that we would have friends in common this awesome guy turned out to be 10 years younger than me! I felt like I had insulted him by assuming he was thirty something, but I don’t think I did. I was a little shocked he was so young, but then again maybe I should start robbing the cradle. The conversation died down and he left with friends who were our age, but rather dull.
Many of the men at the mixer were mostly looking for an evening hook up, and I was generally unimpressed by the men that were in attendance. It was a mixer, but it had more of a meat market appeal. I did over hear a funny comment made by a forty something unattractive typical LA man-child. He walked past by a few groups of women, ours included, and mad a ridiculous comment.
He said my penis has recoiled into my body or something to that effect. I am assuming that he did not expect someone to hear him, and that he was making a general statement about the women at the event. However, there were a lot of hot chicks there, and most of them I would consider to have been out of his league looks wise. The ironic part of his statement was he was an out of shape middle aged man with an alright face. Maybe he was successful, but all in all nothing to write home about.
Given the dumb comment he made about the, “talent”, at the mixer I will assume he is not the sharpest tool in the shed either. His expectations of dating a playboy pinup are way beyond his reach. This was not a mixer for rock stars, but it was for real-estate. To be honest I would not have touched him with another girl’s vagina.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
This is depressing you have been warned!
The Last 6 months have been a drag.
Sometimes years just start off on the decline, and I would say this one would be in that category. To start this year off a family friend died. Granted she was 90 at the time, but a friend none the less and it greatly affected my mom, her boss and friend, and his family. The lady that passed was my mom’s boss’s sister.
A month later my mom’s boss died. This was a really sad loss. Since I was a child I have known and celebrated many different occasions with the family I have mentioned. They are not just my mom’s boss. They are friends with the whole family, and my mom was hired by them because of the strong family ties. As a family we went to sit shiva, and celebrated the lives of these two extraordinary people. Unfortunately, after the first funeral the second was a real blow. It felt as if a generation was missing at the gathering, and it continues to look like more will pass in the coming months.
After the depression of the funerals had subsisted my grandmother went into the hospital for open heart surgery. She survived, and the surgery was successful. At 86 any surgery is will have possible side effects, and they can be severe side effects, but you have to weigh the benefits. If she did not have this operation she would have for sure died within 6-8 months. So obviously she did not want to die so she went under the knife.
This operation was not a surprise to any of us my grandmother knew eventually this operation was going to have to take place. Two years ago we had to cancel a trip to Israel because of her heart. She lived a normal life up to that week in the hospital. Two days after the operation she suffered a massive stroke, and can no longer stand on her own. She can totally understand what is going on, but slurs her speech when she talks, and can almost sit up straight. My grandmother can no longer do any of the things she loves to do like travel, go the opera, the theater, shop, or lunch with the ladies.
Since her stroke I have been in a frenzy to find her a place to live that can accommodate cognitive stimulation, full care, social interaction, movie nights, and good food. It took about two months to make a decision and have her assed to be able to move into the facility. We had to tell her what we were planning, and she really doesn’t want to move away from home, but knows it may help her.
After all these decisions were finalized I got a call two days late from another family member letting me know a cousin of ours fell and hit her head on the floor. This trauma caused massive internal brain bleed, and she died within 15 hours. I got to the hospital to pay my respects, and attended another wake. My grandfather came with us. She was 90 years old and lived a great life. She was my grandfather’s mother’s cousin.
At the wake my grandfather was rather quiet but he was drinking a bit more than usual. It dawned on me right then and there he is the last one of that generation standing, and also literally standing in that room. He looked at me and wanted to leave, so I gathered my family and we left. We went out for a steak dinner and called it a night. Here is a recap for those who aren’t fully depressed yet: Jan-Funeral, Feb.-Funeral, March-operation, April-ICU one month, May-Look for facility, June-Funeral. Every time I talk to my friends I just keep it to myself this is just way too depressing to talk about all the time.
Sometimes years just start off on the decline, and I would say this one would be in that category. To start this year off a family friend died. Granted she was 90 at the time, but a friend none the less and it greatly affected my mom, her boss and friend, and his family. The lady that passed was my mom’s boss’s sister.
A month later my mom’s boss died. This was a really sad loss. Since I was a child I have known and celebrated many different occasions with the family I have mentioned. They are not just my mom’s boss. They are friends with the whole family, and my mom was hired by them because of the strong family ties. As a family we went to sit shiva, and celebrated the lives of these two extraordinary people. Unfortunately, after the first funeral the second was a real blow. It felt as if a generation was missing at the gathering, and it continues to look like more will pass in the coming months.
After the depression of the funerals had subsisted my grandmother went into the hospital for open heart surgery. She survived, and the surgery was successful. At 86 any surgery is will have possible side effects, and they can be severe side effects, but you have to weigh the benefits. If she did not have this operation she would have for sure died within 6-8 months. So obviously she did not want to die so she went under the knife.
This operation was not a surprise to any of us my grandmother knew eventually this operation was going to have to take place. Two years ago we had to cancel a trip to Israel because of her heart. She lived a normal life up to that week in the hospital. Two days after the operation she suffered a massive stroke, and can no longer stand on her own. She can totally understand what is going on, but slurs her speech when she talks, and can almost sit up straight. My grandmother can no longer do any of the things she loves to do like travel, go the opera, the theater, shop, or lunch with the ladies.
Since her stroke I have been in a frenzy to find her a place to live that can accommodate cognitive stimulation, full care, social interaction, movie nights, and good food. It took about two months to make a decision and have her assed to be able to move into the facility. We had to tell her what we were planning, and she really doesn’t want to move away from home, but knows it may help her.
After all these decisions were finalized I got a call two days late from another family member letting me know a cousin of ours fell and hit her head on the floor. This trauma caused massive internal brain bleed, and she died within 15 hours. I got to the hospital to pay my respects, and attended another wake. My grandfather came with us. She was 90 years old and lived a great life. She was my grandfather’s mother’s cousin.
At the wake my grandfather was rather quiet but he was drinking a bit more than usual. It dawned on me right then and there he is the last one of that generation standing, and also literally standing in that room. He looked at me and wanted to leave, so I gathered my family and we left. We went out for a steak dinner and called it a night. Here is a recap for those who aren’t fully depressed yet: Jan-Funeral, Feb.-Funeral, March-operation, April-ICU one month, May-Look for facility, June-Funeral. Every time I talk to my friends I just keep it to myself this is just way too depressing to talk about all the time.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Nothing will be off limits.
Nothing will be off limits.
I have been noticing that I find it boring to speak to people who cannot focus on a simple interaction. I find it rude not to listen to another person, but instead just wait to talk. I am not just bringing this up due to a bad date with an adult that probably has ADHD. Over the past three years I know I actually listen to my friends when they are speaking to me about meaningful experiences, conflicting opinions, and especially when they need advice. I know I am much more present in my relationships with others, because when people cannot be present with me it becomes painfully annoying to talk to them.
This being said I believe I use to be the type of person who waited to talk. No, I did not do this on purpose, but I was really stressed out and could not fully allow most of my friends to hang their issues on me. Nor did I want the responsibility of having to give anyone advice when I could not help myself. Those predicaments lead to further complications in many past friendships, and eventually ended some but strengthened others.
Many of my closest friends recognized my life had become to consuming for me to handle, but others just kept prodding me harder for more attention. Eventually the pushy friends ended up by the waste side, and the friends who backed off and gave me space proved to be better friends. However, choosing to walk away from relationships lead to questions about why these friendships no longer served me, and why I no longer served them. Did I just wait to talk to these people or did I actually really listen?
I thought about this for a while, and then again for a longer period of time. What I came up with was this. The friends I got rid of were people who I had begun to tune out in general. They were energy vampires, and took up too much of my emotional space. I believe I worried about them more than I worried about myself. Finally our exchanges turned into me being a pompous ass and talking over them when they were confiding in me, or needing my help. Mostly I was just board of listening to my friends complain about their lives when they did nothing to better themselves.
Granted this lead to disaster in a few very close friendships, and normally I would have apologized to them for my behavior, but I feel an apology is given when you are truly sorry for something you have done, or for something you would have done differently. In these instances I did not feel either way. I felt like this worked both ways. As a friend am I supposed to listen to meaningless chatter because someone cannot seek professional help? Am I supposed to listen to the same problem over and over again when these same friends were ignoring my problems, because they felt their emotional strife was greater than mine? NO!
The sad truth is I no longer could stand these friends, and I was no longer present because I was sick of talking to them. I was even more alarmed when I needed them and they were off put because my life had become messy. It was like I was the rock they could cling to in a storm. I have news everyone has a storm or two in life and you need to be your own rock.
I have been noticing that I find it boring to speak to people who cannot focus on a simple interaction. I find it rude not to listen to another person, but instead just wait to talk. I am not just bringing this up due to a bad date with an adult that probably has ADHD. Over the past three years I know I actually listen to my friends when they are speaking to me about meaningful experiences, conflicting opinions, and especially when they need advice. I know I am much more present in my relationships with others, because when people cannot be present with me it becomes painfully annoying to talk to them.
This being said I believe I use to be the type of person who waited to talk. No, I did not do this on purpose, but I was really stressed out and could not fully allow most of my friends to hang their issues on me. Nor did I want the responsibility of having to give anyone advice when I could not help myself. Those predicaments lead to further complications in many past friendships, and eventually ended some but strengthened others.
Many of my closest friends recognized my life had become to consuming for me to handle, but others just kept prodding me harder for more attention. Eventually the pushy friends ended up by the waste side, and the friends who backed off and gave me space proved to be better friends. However, choosing to walk away from relationships lead to questions about why these friendships no longer served me, and why I no longer served them. Did I just wait to talk to these people or did I actually really listen?
I thought about this for a while, and then again for a longer period of time. What I came up with was this. The friends I got rid of were people who I had begun to tune out in general. They were energy vampires, and took up too much of my emotional space. I believe I worried about them more than I worried about myself. Finally our exchanges turned into me being a pompous ass and talking over them when they were confiding in me, or needing my help. Mostly I was just board of listening to my friends complain about their lives when they did nothing to better themselves.
Granted this lead to disaster in a few very close friendships, and normally I would have apologized to them for my behavior, but I feel an apology is given when you are truly sorry for something you have done, or for something you would have done differently. In these instances I did not feel either way. I felt like this worked both ways. As a friend am I supposed to listen to meaningless chatter because someone cannot seek professional help? Am I supposed to listen to the same problem over and over again when these same friends were ignoring my problems, because they felt their emotional strife was greater than mine? NO!
The sad truth is I no longer could stand these friends, and I was no longer present because I was sick of talking to them. I was even more alarmed when I needed them and they were off put because my life had become messy. It was like I was the rock they could cling to in a storm. I have news everyone has a storm or two in life and you need to be your own rock.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Crash and Burn.
Crash and Burn.
So I was on what I considered to be a date on Friday night. Honestly I should have just stayed home, but I went out to give it the good old college try. This man F was a friend from middle school and from what I do remember about him was good. He was a quiet, nerdy, nice guy, and when he found me on Facebook I was happy to accept his friend request. We decided to get drinks at a jazz club in Glen Cir.
Things started off normal enough, he politely asked me what I would like to drink, and he wandered to the bar to order for the both of us. That was the end of the normal part of the evening. After he sat down he asked a normal enough question. I think he asked where in Los Angeles have I lived since my early twenty’s? I gave him the rundown of areas, like West LA, then off Sepulveda, and then I left for a bit, but ended up in Encino where I am currently.
Now I was expecting him to tell me where he had lived, and just went with the conversation. Well to my surprise he did not tell me where he had lived in the past few years. Mr. F scolded me, and said I was a horrible story teller, and I should have combined my movements with polite antidotes of where I moved and why. Dumb founded and ready to react I was cut off by another question, and again scolded for the way I answered the question. So I asked what do you want to know? I realized at this point we just do not communicate in the same way. He told me, and our conversation became a bit more normal, but rather distracting.
Mr F. had a really hard time sitting still, and he kept playing with his watch, looking around, and was generally fidgety. He could not stop moving and it started to become hard to pay attention to his stories, and body language. I literally asked him to look at me while he was talking, because I was missing half of what he was saying. During these long drawn out stories he was telling me he kept turning his head away and back again. There was live music so I was only catching every few words. Unfortunately he listened to me, and the conversation became more and more annoying.
First he told me how he felt marriage was biologically wrong for men, and ranted about this for a good fifteen minutes. I just wanted to end the part of this conversation so I just agreed, and told him he was right, because I just wanted to move on from that boring biological man story I have heard at least 10,000 times. (Side note … every man in the world will at some point tell some woman monogamy is not biologically correct for a man, and it’s not true human primates are monogamous biologically in general, but there is an exception to every rule. I could geek out but I will spare you.) Then we moved onto another hot topic polotics.
So he and I did not agree for many reasons, and here is the biggest reason he does not vote. In my book if you don’t vote shut the #$^& up. I don’t care what you think about my opinions. I vote so I can argue and stand my ground. If you don’t vote and withdraw yourself from societal norms then don’t bitch about government, or overseas policy, and don’t bitch about this country being run by corporations. Why? Easy our constitution was written by wealthy land owners, farmers, and merchants, and our government is still run by the same type of people. That’s why not much changes, and that’s why people bitch about America being this giant capitalist machine. Well guess what America has always been and most likely always will be. So two topics down, and both were bad choices that he brought up, and the next two really take the cake.
I wanted to gently change the subject from politics, so he had told me he had a funny story for me about our youth. I kinda lead the conversation in that direction by bluntly asking about it while he was telling me how corrupt America is. He segued by starting a story about how his family migrated to America in the late 70’s. I interrupted and asked him what he was talking about, and he responded with, “I know how to tell a story and I need to give you this information so you understand”. Honestly I knew he was a first generation immigrant, knew he had cultural difference at home and at school, and knew his family was not traditional when it came to assimilating into the American culture. I really did not need the long winded story of his youth.
What it came down to was a back to school night where his father met my father. I guess he has always seen me as the all American girl and was embarrassed of his family not understanding American culture. He was terrified my family would make fun of his, and would be the laughing stock at school the next day. This did not happen, what did happen was his father called my father obnoxious. That’s right he told me his father thinks my father is obnoxious, because of something my dad said at a back to school night to Mr. F’s father. This was the story he wanted to share with me. Once again dumbfounded I changed the subject.
I asked him about what he did when he lived in Colorado for five months? I know most people would have left already, but he was drinking a lot. By the time we did leave he had drank five or six cocktails, so the next part of the evening was just rude. He told me of a time when he and ten other people got into a hot tub one evening. The story started with irrelevant info about some 20 year old girl he was fucking, and later that night became interested in a 24 year old. Anyways, it ended with all the girls in the hot tub naked, and the boys in boxers. Then he hypothetically asked me if I would strip down and jump on in a hot tub with eleven strangers. Obviously I said no, and he called me prude, conservative, or judgmental. I could no longer stand the conversation and told him I was tired.
To sum up the evening this guy bashed America, openly admitted to being repulsed by social norms like voting, or monogamous relationships, denounced marriage, called my father obnoxious, and called me a prude. No one has ever crashed and burned so bad in my life.
So I was on what I considered to be a date on Friday night. Honestly I should have just stayed home, but I went out to give it the good old college try. This man F was a friend from middle school and from what I do remember about him was good. He was a quiet, nerdy, nice guy, and when he found me on Facebook I was happy to accept his friend request. We decided to get drinks at a jazz club in Glen Cir.
Things started off normal enough, he politely asked me what I would like to drink, and he wandered to the bar to order for the both of us. That was the end of the normal part of the evening. After he sat down he asked a normal enough question. I think he asked where in Los Angeles have I lived since my early twenty’s? I gave him the rundown of areas, like West LA, then off Sepulveda, and then I left for a bit, but ended up in Encino where I am currently.
Now I was expecting him to tell me where he had lived, and just went with the conversation. Well to my surprise he did not tell me where he had lived in the past few years. Mr. F scolded me, and said I was a horrible story teller, and I should have combined my movements with polite antidotes of where I moved and why. Dumb founded and ready to react I was cut off by another question, and again scolded for the way I answered the question. So I asked what do you want to know? I realized at this point we just do not communicate in the same way. He told me, and our conversation became a bit more normal, but rather distracting.
Mr F. had a really hard time sitting still, and he kept playing with his watch, looking around, and was generally fidgety. He could not stop moving and it started to become hard to pay attention to his stories, and body language. I literally asked him to look at me while he was talking, because I was missing half of what he was saying. During these long drawn out stories he was telling me he kept turning his head away and back again. There was live music so I was only catching every few words. Unfortunately he listened to me, and the conversation became more and more annoying.
First he told me how he felt marriage was biologically wrong for men, and ranted about this for a good fifteen minutes. I just wanted to end the part of this conversation so I just agreed, and told him he was right, because I just wanted to move on from that boring biological man story I have heard at least 10,000 times. (Side note … every man in the world will at some point tell some woman monogamy is not biologically correct for a man, and it’s not true human primates are monogamous biologically in general, but there is an exception to every rule. I could geek out but I will spare you.) Then we moved onto another hot topic polotics.
So he and I did not agree for many reasons, and here is the biggest reason he does not vote. In my book if you don’t vote shut the #$^& up. I don’t care what you think about my opinions. I vote so I can argue and stand my ground. If you don’t vote and withdraw yourself from societal norms then don’t bitch about government, or overseas policy, and don’t bitch about this country being run by corporations. Why? Easy our constitution was written by wealthy land owners, farmers, and merchants, and our government is still run by the same type of people. That’s why not much changes, and that’s why people bitch about America being this giant capitalist machine. Well guess what America has always been and most likely always will be. So two topics down, and both were bad choices that he brought up, and the next two really take the cake.
I wanted to gently change the subject from politics, so he had told me he had a funny story for me about our youth. I kinda lead the conversation in that direction by bluntly asking about it while he was telling me how corrupt America is. He segued by starting a story about how his family migrated to America in the late 70’s. I interrupted and asked him what he was talking about, and he responded with, “I know how to tell a story and I need to give you this information so you understand”. Honestly I knew he was a first generation immigrant, knew he had cultural difference at home and at school, and knew his family was not traditional when it came to assimilating into the American culture. I really did not need the long winded story of his youth.
What it came down to was a back to school night where his father met my father. I guess he has always seen me as the all American girl and was embarrassed of his family not understanding American culture. He was terrified my family would make fun of his, and would be the laughing stock at school the next day. This did not happen, what did happen was his father called my father obnoxious. That’s right he told me his father thinks my father is obnoxious, because of something my dad said at a back to school night to Mr. F’s father. This was the story he wanted to share with me. Once again dumbfounded I changed the subject.
I asked him about what he did when he lived in Colorado for five months? I know most people would have left already, but he was drinking a lot. By the time we did leave he had drank five or six cocktails, so the next part of the evening was just rude. He told me of a time when he and ten other people got into a hot tub one evening. The story started with irrelevant info about some 20 year old girl he was fucking, and later that night became interested in a 24 year old. Anyways, it ended with all the girls in the hot tub naked, and the boys in boxers. Then he hypothetically asked me if I would strip down and jump on in a hot tub with eleven strangers. Obviously I said no, and he called me prude, conservative, or judgmental. I could no longer stand the conversation and told him I was tired.
To sum up the evening this guy bashed America, openly admitted to being repulsed by social norms like voting, or monogamous relationships, denounced marriage, called my father obnoxious, and called me a prude. No one has ever crashed and burned so bad in my life.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Brave or just common sense?
Brave or just common sense?
Being thirty something and back in school is weird and fun all at the same time. Fun because I completely understand the topics I am studying with depth, and actual life experience. I know for certain I understand the subjects better than I did when I was a college bound youth. I can prove that with my grades alone. With one exception Economics, for some reason I excel in Economics and always have. It’s weird because all day I am surrounded by a generation I have nothing in common with, but I look as if I do.
I fit in because I look young my professors and classmates never believe me when I tell them how old I am with the exception of the twenty something male that immediately finds me more attractive. Bad BOYS! Anyway, I went back to school to brush up on Microsoft and Photoshop skills, and decided to just finish my BA. In a way this current path just started on its own, and I went with it.
I previously owned a clothing manufacturing company, and it fell apart when the economy fell apart. When I think of being brave I think about risking it all at 23 to start a company, and being even braver to close it at 29. I had no idea where to go from there and I can say it took a lot of strength to figure it out. Most people never take a chance like that. Most American companies provide a service, but don’t necessarily produce a product.
Producing anything in America is a challenge, and I never wanted to produce overseas, because I could not get to a crisis in less than 24hours. Here I just had to drive to any of the outsourced corporations I used. That only took an hour, and it did not cost as much as flying to China or Cambodia. I enjoyed my previous life, but soon learned what you do is not who you are, and I learned it the hard way.
Fashion was my life I drank it in every day, and would even say I was a bit superficial throughout the majority of my twenties, but who is not? I saw myself creating wearable art. To say my ego was over sized would be a bit of an understatement, but fashion is a really difficult business, and you have to believe in yourself because no one else is going to do it for you.
Believing in myself is what made me successful for all those years, until I wasn’t. Failing sucks, but I am not special people fail all the time. I succeeded where others had failed, and cannot completely beat myself up, because my product was expensive, and when people are losing homes and jobs a $70 tee shirt becomes unimportant. I think I took courage to understand that life lesson and move past it.
When people move forward in life the lessons of the past travel with them, and as I moved on I no longer had any real interest in fashion. This led me to take classes which led me to finish school. Originally I did not know I would have to retake all my credits, because FIDM would not transfer, but I have. Now since I am here I will finish my BA. Since I will finish my BA I mind as well either get a Masters, or a PHD. I think its common sense in this economy to have every advantage you can. Being logical and practical is what I think I am good at these days. So I will finish these next few years, and life will unfold as it unfolds. However, I do not think this is courageous, I think its common sense. When my friends comment on how brave they think I am. I think to myself Why?
Being thirty something and back in school is weird and fun all at the same time. Fun because I completely understand the topics I am studying with depth, and actual life experience. I know for certain I understand the subjects better than I did when I was a college bound youth. I can prove that with my grades alone. With one exception Economics, for some reason I excel in Economics and always have. It’s weird because all day I am surrounded by a generation I have nothing in common with, but I look as if I do.
I fit in because I look young my professors and classmates never believe me when I tell them how old I am with the exception of the twenty something male that immediately finds me more attractive. Bad BOYS! Anyway, I went back to school to brush up on Microsoft and Photoshop skills, and decided to just finish my BA. In a way this current path just started on its own, and I went with it.
I previously owned a clothing manufacturing company, and it fell apart when the economy fell apart. When I think of being brave I think about risking it all at 23 to start a company, and being even braver to close it at 29. I had no idea where to go from there and I can say it took a lot of strength to figure it out. Most people never take a chance like that. Most American companies provide a service, but don’t necessarily produce a product.
Producing anything in America is a challenge, and I never wanted to produce overseas, because I could not get to a crisis in less than 24hours. Here I just had to drive to any of the outsourced corporations I used. That only took an hour, and it did not cost as much as flying to China or Cambodia. I enjoyed my previous life, but soon learned what you do is not who you are, and I learned it the hard way.
Fashion was my life I drank it in every day, and would even say I was a bit superficial throughout the majority of my twenties, but who is not? I saw myself creating wearable art. To say my ego was over sized would be a bit of an understatement, but fashion is a really difficult business, and you have to believe in yourself because no one else is going to do it for you.
Believing in myself is what made me successful for all those years, until I wasn’t. Failing sucks, but I am not special people fail all the time. I succeeded where others had failed, and cannot completely beat myself up, because my product was expensive, and when people are losing homes and jobs a $70 tee shirt becomes unimportant. I think I took courage to understand that life lesson and move past it.
When people move forward in life the lessons of the past travel with them, and as I moved on I no longer had any real interest in fashion. This led me to take classes which led me to finish school. Originally I did not know I would have to retake all my credits, because FIDM would not transfer, but I have. Now since I am here I will finish my BA. Since I will finish my BA I mind as well either get a Masters, or a PHD. I think its common sense in this economy to have every advantage you can. Being logical and practical is what I think I am good at these days. So I will finish these next few years, and life will unfold as it unfolds. However, I do not think this is courageous, I think its common sense. When my friends comment on how brave they think I am. I think to myself Why?
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